The Rubens Plan: Being Chubby and Horny Cited As Keys to Long Life

180px-Peter_Paul_Rubens_004A new Japanese study indicates that being chubby is the key to the long life — a finding with direct implications for the continuation of the Turley blog for decades to come. in the meantime, the oldest man in the world, Henry Allingham, has explained that the key to his long life is heaving drinking and womanizing.

The new study suggests that being too thin is not as healthy as being a bit chubby — the Rubens diet plan is now official.

The Japanese found that people who are a little overweight live six to seven years longer.
The study was quite large. A team from Tohoku University studied 50,000 people between the ages of 40 and 79 over 12 years.

In the meantime, Englishman Allingham celebrated his 110th birthday. He is so old that he fought in the Battle of Jutland.

He explained that the key to long life was simple: “cigarettes, whisky and wild, wild women”.

Life just gets better and better. Now, I am going to go out for my health-based breakfast of snickers and snaps.

For the Japanese story, click here.

For the English story, click here

15 thoughts on “The Rubens Plan: Being Chubby and Horny Cited As Keys to Long Life”

  1. “Slightly chubby” to the Japanese is probably in the normal weight range for US citizens! Our “slightly chubby” would be considered obese in Japan.

  2. Being chubby sure helped those crew members on the Nantucket whale ship Essex who managed to survive for over two months in three small whale boats deployed when the whale attacked and sank the big ship.

    Those with the leanest bodies died first and were eaten.

    I’m hoping for an interesting ending to the current series “whale wars” featuring Japanese seamen being harrassed by the crew of the sea shepherd while whaling.

  3. Jill!

    I am shocked that you, a staunch advocate of human rights, would want to see a couple vanish in a flash of light. Oh how the righteous have fallen. 😉

  4. Mr. Allingham needs to meet one of those 106 year old women who claim reading the bible and not drinking kept them going. It’s like matter–antimatter!

  5. Dearest Buddha,

    I do live in Chicago. But my in-laws live in Louisville. I have, perhaps, been over served while visiting them during the Derby, but I do not believe that is me in your picture. Had the picture been taken years ago in either Austin Texas or New Orleans, where I attempted to educate myself, the odds would be good that it was me.

    As for the whole chubby/horny thing; the effects of my marriage are apparently going to grant me enternal life.

  6. I am going to have to report this alleged Art work to the Supreme Court. I know that they know something Offensive when they have seen it. I am sorry but This Picture Appears to be showing body parts and maybe they can decide if this site needs to be censored for pornography and fined under the Bush standards of NO Offensiveness. While I do not find this as offensive, I have taking the very British and McCarthy as well as Ronald Regan approach to turning in my neighbor first, so I will not be seen as sympathizing with the production of pictures which may or may not be offensive to others.

    DISCLAIMER:

    The above was meant only as humor and satire. I would like to see a script on SNL with Palin defining the community standard for pornography. Have you notice Plain and Palin have the same letters. Kinda of like Santa and Satan. Coincidence? or not?

  7. the Japanese study link, at least as far as I could tell, did not give ranges/limits on body mass index. So I dont think I would go just yet and order that banana split.

    Mike Spindell:

    grass fed beef is higher in omegas 3’s than cold water fish. Probably the reason Dr. Atkinson thought the low incidence of heart disease prior to the 1920’s was a result of a low carb diet and not because eating grass fed beef is like eating salmon today. He probably did not know that when he wrote his book.

    So go enjoy your ribeye just make sure it is grass and not grain fed.

  8. “He explained that the key to long life was simple: “cigarettes, whisky and wild, wild women”.”

    Why did I ever give up 16oz.Rib eyes, Tequila and Marlboro Reds?

  9. So I totally cancelled my participation in this study!

    Calorie Restriction Extends Life Span—

  10. Xenu had a rought night but Xenu is a god, (well alien who appears as god to the puny human brain). What a great picture Buddha!

  11. Well it’s either fantastic or horrific depending upon your perspective, but according to this post, I just might live forever. Muahahahahahaha!

  12. Oh what a wonderful life I should have. Too bad this economy has mired some of my plans. But then again everything is a learning opportunity.

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