Palin-Hannity in 2012 — A Republican (and Democratic) Fantasy Moves Closer to Reality

225px-palin1225px-HannityIt is a dream of many a Democratic strategist: A Hannity-Palin Ticket or Palin-Hannity Ticket in 2012. According to one news report, Sean Hannity added fuel to the speculation this week by saying that he would not rule out a run and would await direction from the Almighty. (It is assumed that that is a reference to God as opposed to Roger Ailes).

When asked by radio sidekick Bill Cunningham, Hannity left open the possibility of a run, saying “I’ve never made a decision in my life without – whatever destiny God has you’ve got to fulfill it.” Not a single decision in his life. That must make lunch menu decisions rather difficult.

When the audience erupted in feverish excitement at the prospect after his statement, Hannity asked: “Would any of you really want me to run?”

Faced with shrinking popularity polls, many at the DNC were saying “oh yes, please.” For hard-right Republicans, a Palin-Hannity ticket might be the best of all worlds since Palin would resign halfway through her term and conservatives could enjoy both a President Palin and a President Hannity — if their hearts could take it.

The Palin-Hannity cabinet has some obvious choices:

Secretary of Defense: God

Treasury: God

Transportation: God

Interior: God

Commerce: God

Justice: God

HUD: God

Labor: God

Of course, if the Almighty is too busy with the other decision’s in Sean’s life, there is John Yoo for Justice, Oliver North for Defense, Gov. Sanford for Transportation, Sen. David Vitter for Labor, Bernie Ebbers for Commerce, Jeff Skilling for Treasury (Ken Lay is no longer available), Joseph Hazelwood for Interior — and of course Glen Beck for White House Spokesman. The only danger would be that the hearts of some Republicans would literally burst out of their chests in spontaneous explosions of joy.

Possible slogans based on past campaigns:

“Palin-Hannity: In Your Heart, You Know They’re [Far] Right.”

“Palin-Hannity: Its the Antebellum in America again.”

“Palin-Hannity: God-Chosen, Fox-Certified”

“Palin-Hannity: Because One Can Never Be Too Right.”

“Palin-Hannity: No You Can’t”

“Palin-Hannity: An Endangered Bird in Every Pot, a Humvee in every garage”

“Palin-Hannity: Stop Thinking About Tomorrow and Start Thinking About Yesterday.”

“Palin-Hannity: Building a Bridge to the Eighteenth Century.”

For the report, click here.

53 thoughts on “Palin-Hannity in 2012 — A Republican (and Democratic) Fantasy Moves Closer to Reality”

  1. FFLEO: “To whom do we request the deliverance of non-christians like Lieberman and Cruise to be Raptured amongst the holy? I would even stoop to prayin’ for that miracle.”
    ———-

    Criuse has made some good movies and may do so again so I’m voting for him to stay, he’s harmless, but if you forward the petition to send along ol’ Joe I’d sign it in a minute.

    The upside of Hannity running is that it would get him off TV until he loses, I’d support that 🙂

  2. Hannity would make as good a stooge for the Plutocracy as Puppet Bush, whose Yale and Harvard degrees were the equivalent of merely honorary bestowals, because he was so obviously a cluless, intellectual lightweight. Hannity could make scripted appearances much like the Puppet, except that there is a slightly better chance that Hannity would not employ so many malapropisms while struggling to respond to questions.

    Hannity boasts an Associate Degree in General Studies from a community college. Perhaps this has the same value as a G.E.D. certificate with a gold border.

    In the nightmarish scenario of Hannity on a national ticket,he and his handlers know that the pathetic community of dupes, cretins, and evangelical crackpots who are addicted to him and Fox and are concentrated in Dupedom South, where ignorance is a tradition, will ecstatically vote for him, simultaneously fornicating themselves and rational cititzens economically and legally and politically.

  3. A little side note on the Rapture:

    I knew a serious Biblical scholar (he knew the history of the texts, admitted it wasn’t literal etc.) who said that if one took the Bible literally, only the Christians descended from the tribes of Israel would be taken. It was awhile ago, and unfortunately I don’t remember the specifics of the argument.

  4. _________________________________

    Mike S. said:

    Do you realize that the Secretary of Rapture would of necessity have to be a Jew, or at least a non-Christian? My suggestion would be either Joe Lieberman, or Tom Cruise (Scientologist).
    _________________________________

    To whom do we request the deliverance of non-christians like Lieberman and Cruise to be Raptured amongst the holy? I would even stoop to prayin’ for that miracle.

  5. “Mike Spindell,
    Seriously, I could never vote for someone like Mr. Crist, especially since he is just a single ‘h’ away from Christ.”

    FFLEO,
    I’d never vote for Charlie, but compared to the other Republican’s in Florida, he’s the Gold Standard. The Democratic Party has its’ problems too, but you simply can’t believe the political climate in Florida and I don’t mean the sun. The best adjective for it would be wacky, rather than crazy/insane. With crazy/insane it wouldn’t be the laugh-fest that it is.

  6. “We are just gonna need a Secretary of Rapture for the Pal/Han Admin. because The Rapture will bring more chaos than the Dept. of Homeland Security, FEMA, TSA et al. combined.”

    FFLEO,
    Do you realize that the Secretary of Rapture would of necessity have to be a Jew, or at least a non-Christian? My suggestion would be either
    Joe Lieberman, or Tom Cruise (Scientologist).

  7. Slart,

    Well, you are right, I just thought that as Christians that they might feel some compassion for…oh, nevermind…I have been soundly refuted.

    Mike Spindell,

    Seriously, I could never vote for someone like Mr. Crist, especially since he is just a single ‘h’ away from Christ.

  8. FFLEO,

    My equally limited understanding of the Rapture is the same as yours, I was just pointing out that a Palin/Hannity administration wouldn’t waste any thought on what happens after the Rapture as no one who matters would be left. Besides, presumably no members of the P/H administration would be left behind to help with the aftermath.

  9. Slartibartfast,

    Well you may be right, but my understanding–albeit very limited–of the Rapture is that all them saints is a’ gonna leave their clothes behindt as litter when they wing away up yonder to the clouds. Think of the airplane pilots, taxi cab drivers, motorists’ et al. being wisked away while drivin’ and all of the accidents and associated deaths.

    We are going to need some sane atheists in the Dept. of Rapture to clean up the mess of it all.

    Jill,

    I had to look up COG and they’s a lot to choose from…all very funny.

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