This Year’s “Must” in Authoritarian Fashion: The English To Launch Campaign Showing Jealous Fingerprints Begging For National Identification Cards

140px-Gotsiy3edit2250px-Index_finger.JPGWhile France and Italy may claim to lead fashion, the English have spent over £544,000 to show English citizens what is a must in this year’s wear: a fingerprint. The government is trying to convince the English that only a nerd lives without a fingerprinted national identity card in a new campaign featuring a fingerprint proudly displaying his new national ID card to other jealous fingerprints.

The new campaign highlights the voluntary national cards that will be available to residents of Greater Manchester later this year.

Phil Booth, national coordinator of NO2ID, is a killjoy and obvious fashion-challenged radical:

“This latest, desperate attempt to market the ID scheme is patronising hype. Having failed to come up with any convincing benefits, officials are set to waste millions shoving ID cards down the throats of shops, of licensees, and of young people who already have alternatives. The IPS is treating the public and businesses like children if it thinks giving fingerprints smiles will make us all happy to be fingerprinted . . .Let us be clear: anyone signing up for a Home Office identity card has agreed to report to an official database for life, and lost control of their own identity information for ever. It is nothing to smile about.”

Well, sure, but what about the happy fingerprint people, Mr. Booth, what about the happy fingerprint people?

I have testified against national identification cards in this country, here, but that was before I realized that other fingerprints would make fun of my fingerprints. I do not want fingers with inferiority complexes.

Fortunately, the good people at Big Brother Fashions are also planning to roll out a new campaign for “Eager Iris” (the eyeball who wants to be optically scanned) and “Danny DNA” (the genetic code who is lonely outside of the government data bank where all his friends play).

Of course, officials in the United States are above such personification of inanimate objects:

For the story, click here.

6 thoughts on “This Year’s “Must” in Authoritarian Fashion: The English To Launch Campaign Showing Jealous Fingerprints Begging For National Identification Cards”

  1. Masterpiece Theatre Contemporary produced a 5 episode series entitled, “The Last Enemy.” It’s on YouTube. It was designed as a protest against the National ID cards one year before the law took effect. It’s instructive for Americans. It’s considered science fiction, but it takes place in the very near future.
    Being completely locked out of life…if you don’t give up your biological info, you have no right to enter your apartment, to shop, to travel. It creats a class of refusniks, those that choose homelessness rather than be part of the Matrix.
    If I weren’t so ill, I’d live off the grid as well.

  2. I wish people would stop using “English” and “England” as synonyms for “British” and “Britain” or “United Kingdom”.

  3. Whatever,

    Buddha Is Laughing 1, September 29, 2009 at 9:41 am

    I’ve got a finger for them.


    Finger PRINT.

    Sorry, my bad.


    I have learned to call it the Yankee Flipper.

  4. A couple of similar stories stateside. Let the databases begin!

    1. From the Los Angeles Times: Arrested in O.C.? A DNA sample could buy freedom — Guilty or not, people arrested can avoid the hassle of court if they give their DNA sample to the district attorney. The program raises privacy and equity concerns among legal scholars. url:,0,7594003.story

    2. From the New York Times: E-Records Get a Big Endorsement — The nation’s drive toward computerized medical records is getting a push from big hospitals, which hope not only to improve patient care but to gain an edge on competitors. url:

  5. Well, what about the people, who’s fingerprints do not show up? Does my DNA match yours?

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