Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch? Ottoman Hand Grenade Discovered

A 100-year-old hand grenade from the Ottoman period was found recently during digs near the Damascus Gate in Jerusalem’s Old City wall, The hand grenade was the size of a fist and embedded in the wall.

It was confirmed to be “a grenade dating to the Ottoman period and that it contained 200-300 grams of explosives.”

What is curious is that bomb experts removed the explosives but still detonated the device instead of preserving it as a historical object.

The question is whether this was a later model of a better known hand grenade from the Crusades. If so, here are the instructions:

β€œ …And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, “O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits, in Thy mercy.” And the Lord did grin and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats and large chu… [At this point, the friar is urged by Brother Maynard to “skip a bit, brother”]… And the Lord spake, saying, “First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.” Amen.[1]

Source: CNN

12 thoughts on “Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch? Ottoman Hand Grenade Discovered”

  1. Slarti— As you may have noticed by now, I am beyond help. I would, however like to see Graham Hill imitate John the Baptist.

  2. You’ve fallen and you can’t get up? I hope you have that service so you can call for help… πŸ˜‰

  3. Slarti—-I just fell on the floor and won’t be able to get up until I stop laughing sometime tomorrow morning.

  4. HenMan,

    Don’t do it again or I’ll unleash a viscous assault on you with my chief weapon of surprise… suprise and fear… fear and surprise.. My two weapons of fear and surprise… and ruthless efficiency… My *three* weapons of fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency… and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope… My *four* …no… *Amongst* my weapons… Amongst my weaponry… are such elements as fear, surprise… I’ll come in again.

  5. Oh no! I got it ass-backwards! You’ll have to forgive me because no one expects a kind of Spanish Inquisition, Cardinal So-Called Richelieu!! And don’t tell Biggles.

  6. HenMan are you insane? You have to use the Holy Hand Grenade on the Rabbit – didn’t you see it?! With the teeth!!! [gesturing]

  7. Great stuff, Prof! If the Holy Hand Grenade proveth to be a dud, you can always depend on The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog to save the day.

  8. Brain Trust in Action. Trained for you by the Dick Cheney School of Explosives and Other Tactical Devices.

    How many Hand Grenades does it take to drop a well in?

  9. “who being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.”

    That always makes me giggle.

    Too bad they didn’t save the object though. It would have made an interesting display.

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