Don’t Mess With Antarctica: Scientists Prove Gov. Rick Perry Correct On Texas Secession

It appears that if they just stayed put Texans would be living seal steak and penguin chili. Just 1.1 billion years ago, rocks show that Texas was part of a remote part of the Antarctic continent south of the Atlantic Ocean basin.

All of this was before the existence of Pangea as part of a giant, early land mass called Rodinia. Rocks in the two locations show the exact same age and have the same chemical and geologic properties. This research will be published in the journal Geology.

However, putting aside the scientific implications, consider the political implications. It means that when Governor Rick Perry was suggesting possible secession of Texas from the United States “as a right,” he may have been misunderstood. He was criticized for his poor knowledge of Texas history and constitutional law. However, he may have been speaking as an Antarctican, not a Texan. They have done it before. Just picked up and drifted off.

It is not clear what led to the first secession of Texans from Rodinia, but it is believed to involve the general practice of evolution in Antarctica.

We now know the origins of the “burrrrito” and “chilly” as common food names. It also explains why Big Tex has a vaguely Inuit look. Some of Perry’s statements now make much more sense when one considers his roots in the tundra: “I don’t want to look like Connecticut, no offense, I don’t want to look like Oklahoma, I don’t want to look like California. I want to be uniquely Texas. And that’s not to diss anybody else.” I give you the current look of Texas in the state of Rodinia:

22 thoughts on “Don’t Mess With Antarctica: Scientists Prove Gov. Rick Perry Correct On Texas Secession”

  1. Yes Noah….You are correct……

    One more part you forgot that is most salient….Anybody from the North of the Mason Dixon line that is below it…Is still in most instances a DAMN Yankee….a Distinction….but still…You know the difference between a Yankee and a Damn Yankee….a Yankee went on home….

    I have heard from some credible sources…we are watching the wrong borders….

  2. Anonymously Yours said “Geeze…trying to train a Yankee on simple euphemisms…”

    Outside of the USA, all Americans are yankees.

    Inside the USA, anybody north of the Mason-Dixon line is a yankee.

    North of the Mason-Dixon line, yankees are anybody from New England.

    In New England, yankees only live in Vermont.

    In Vermont, yankees are people who eat pie for breakfast.

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