Submitted By: Mike Spindell, Guest Blogger
As you know part of my contribution as a guest blogger has been the fact that I write much from personal experience. This particular blog is one that I’ve thought about for awhile and have had some trepidation in writing because as you will see it touches on a very sensitive topic for most males. As a boy coming of age in the 1950’s one of the unvoiced, but omnipresent topics was male homosexuality. For a male growing up in that period, among the most upsetting epithets you could be called was queer. This was especially disturbing for those entering puberty, which in the 50’s context was coming into the macho essence of your own self worth. If you were queer you were deemed to be less of a male, a wimp, a fag and most essentially a loathsome pervert who did disgusting things with other males. People were bullied and beaten at school while being called degrading names. Even though I was always big for my age, I was a gentle and sensitive boy and while when attacked I would always fight back, I would be throwing punches through tears of frustration and rage at the injustice of it all. As I cried and fought, all those demeaning epithets would be hurled at me by the jeering bystanders. If I had the temerity to be winning, then other boys would attack me from behind. Finally, a teacher or Administrator would break it up, many times though my rescuer would sneer at the fact that my crying was “unmanly”.
At the same time in the 50’s, stories would occasionally appear in the papers and TV, of police raiding homosexual nightclubs and arresting the participants for engaging in lewd acts. These stories were always couched in vague terminology since homosexuality was such a sensitive topic, indeed most discussions of sexuality in general were not considered decent topics for open discussion in the media. Even though my parents were very open about sexuality for the time and I was told the “facts of life” at a young age, they never discussed homosexuality with me. To be honest I never asked because my father was what you would call a “Man’s Man”, or “hale fellow well met”. He was large and had a history as a brawler in his youth. I wanted to be like him have his respect, so although I could ask him anything about sex, I never asked him about homosexuality. Taboo subjects interested me. The mystique surrounding homosexuality perked my interest. Through reading and from Freud, I tried to get a handle on what this strange “perversion” was and why it was considered so bad that it needed the intervention of law enforcement. My attraction was always towards women, but I wanted to understand why some men (and some women) were attracted to the same sex. There simply wasn’t enough information at the time to give me any sort of understanding and Freud’s position was among the least helpful. What I did know is that having been called queer and fag, knowing how it hurt, my empathy for those who were homosexual and how they were treated increased. It is the question of do you side with the oppressors, or the oppressed? What moved me to finally write this piece was a story out of Louisiana in the Huffington Post. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/29/louisiana-police-sting-gay-men-anti-sodomy-law_n_3668116.html It is about the Sheriff’s Office in Baton Rouge, Louisiana that has arrested at least a dozen men since 2011 for agreeing to have consensual sex with undercover police officers. What makes this case so bizarre for these times, yet so familiar when its law enforcement dealing with homosexuality, is that they were arrested under a law that had been declared unconstitutional?
“In all of the cases, the men were arrested under the state’s anti-sodomy law, which was struck down as unconstitutional by the U.S. Supreme Court’s 2003 ruling in Lawrence v. Texas.
“Technically invalid yet still on the books, the state’s “Crime Against Nature” law prohibits “unnatural carnal copulation by a human being with another of the same-sex or opposite-sex or with an animal” along with “solicitation by a human being of another with the intent to engage in any unnatural carnal copulation for compensation,” according to Louisiana legislature.
“This is a law that is currently on the Louisiana books, and the sheriff is charged with enforcing the laws passed by our Louisiana Legislature,” Casey Rayborn Hicks, a Sheriff’s Office spokeswoman, told the Baton Rouge Advocate. “Whether the law is valid is something for the courts to determine, but the sheriff will enforce the laws that are enacted.”
However, the Advocate also revealed that none of these cases had been prosecuted by District Attorney Hillar Moore III, whose office could find no evidence of any crime being committed by any of the arrested men.”
Obviously, District Attorney Moore had more common sense than the Sheriff’s Office that formulated the “sting”. The statement by Mr. Hicks is thoroughly disingenuous to say the least. Knowing the “law on the books” was unconstitutional they did it anyway as their way of harassing gay men and most probably because of their own distaste for homosexuality. Before SCOTUS rulings such as Lawrence v. Texas http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lawrence_v._Texas , all over this country the police were harassing members of the LGBT community. Some of this harassment was done because of the predominant religious mores of the particular community and some was done because by nature many police officers and District Attorneys in the U.S. see themselves as macho defenders of justice and more importantly public morals.
Even today when being Gay has been favorably portrayed in the media, when there are beloved Gay celebrities and when SCOTUS has ruled in favor of Gay Marriage, there are many who are horrified by the notion of homosexuality and consider it evil. Many of these people are in positions of power today and the vileness, to me at least; of their statements railing against the notion of Gay Rights proliferate even though those rights are now being recognized as Constitutional guarantees. Below are some links that will give you an idea of the amount of anti-gay bigotry that is hysterically increasing in the face of this country becoming far more accepting of people’s inherent right to their sexual preference.
http://www.policymic.com/articles/41549/10-craziest-michele-bachmann-anti-gay-quotes
There are many more quotations available, but let me point out that two of those links refer to people who were contenders for the GOP Presidential nomination and other was from a sitting Supreme Court Justice. Clearly the battle for the human rights of the LBGT community is far from over, even though much progress has been made. The fact is there are many in the United States that for religious reasons, personal prejudice and preference will keep battling against what seems to be a rising tide. I write this to emphasize that it is not time to rest in this issue which to me has an importance far beyond just the issue of who consenting adults have sex with. I have written before about the threat that religion of the extreme fundamentalist stripe creates towards the idea of democracy. http://jonathanturley.org/2013/07/05/morsi-democracy-and-problem-with-fundamentalist-politics/ . This blowback by religionists is taking place in many regions of the world.
“MOSCOW — A new law banning “homosexual propaganda” in Russia is raising concerns about the state of human rights in a country already notorious for silencing dissent.
The legislation is vague but its intent is clear: It is now “illegal to spread information about non-traditional sexual behavior” to minors (under 18), and there are hefty fines for those who disobey. Foreigners are also subject to fines and can be deported.” http://worldnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/07/27/19699629-homosexual-propaganda-law-signals-latest-russian-crackdown?lite
This crackdown in Russia is now being pushed to further extremes and affects visitors there:
“In an even wider crackdown in Russia over expressions of homosexuality, gay athletes and fans will be prohibited from displays of affection and the wearing of pro-homosexual rainbow pins and badges during the 2014 Olympics. Violators face steep fines and jail time, foreigners will face similar penalties plus deportation.” http://www.catholic.org/sports/story.php?id=51935
Much of this Russian zeal to crackdown on homosexuals stems from pressure coming from the Russian Orthodox Church upon Putin and other Russian officialdom. In post Communist Russia the Orthodox Church has been a major player and has undergone a tremendous resurgence. It has definitely been an important political player and Putin et. al. have courted their support. The Russian Orthodox Church probably outdoes the Catholic Church in its opposition to homosexuality. However, homophobia in Russia has a long history and in 1933 Stalin also came down hard on homosexuals and led one of his characteristic purges.
“In 1933, Joseph Stalin added Article 121 to the entire Soviet Union criminal code, which made male homosexuality a crime punishable by up to five years in prison with hard labor. The precise reason for Article 121 is in some dispute among historians. The few official government statements made about the law tended to confuse homosexuality with pedophilia and was tied up with a belief that homosexuality was only practiced among fascists or the aristocracy. The law remained intact until after the dissolution of the Soviet Union; it was repealed in 1993.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Communism_and_homosexuality
On Friday Professor Turley even posted a blog about the situation in Russia. http://jonathanturley.org/2013/08/02/russian-gays-forced-to-drink-urine-and-beaten-as-part-of-cure-by-nationalist-thugs/
Another example of “legal” homophobia around the world are the attacks on homosexuals by various African Governments and the draconian penalties for being homosexual that are being imposed:
“More than two-thirds of African countries have laws criminalizing homosexual acts, and despite accounting for a significant percentage of new infections in many countries, men who have sex with men tend to be left out of the HIV response.” http://www.irinnews.org/report/87793
As we can see there is still significant oppression of homosexuals around the world and I haven’t even gotten into the dangerous situations in many other countries for those who don’t meet the standard heterosexual criteria. In the U.S. Russia’s anti-homosexual laws have drawn praise from a source that seems a surprise, but then again maybe not a surprise at all:
“As the hub of the Soviet Union, Russia was reviled for rights abuses by many U.S. conservatives during the Cold War. Now some are voicing support and admiration as Russian authorities crack down on gay-rights activism. The latest step drawing praise from social conservatives is a bill signed into law Sunday by President Vladimir Putin that would impose hefty fines for holding gay pride rallies or providing information about the gay community to minors.
“You admire some of the things they’re doing in Russia against propaganda,” said Austin Ruse, president of the U.S.-based Catholic Family and Human Rights Institute. “On the other hand, you know it would be impossible to do that here.” Ruse, whose institute is seeking accreditation at the United Nations, plans to travel to Russia this summer to meet with government officials and civic leaders. “We want to let them know they do in fact have support among American NGOs (non-governmental organizations) on social issues,” he said.
Among others commending Russia’s anti-gay efforts was Peter LaBarbera of Americans for Truth About Homosexuality.”Russians do not want to follow America’s reckless and decadent promotion of gender confusion, sexual perversion, and anti-biblical ideologies to youth,” LaBarbera said on his website.
In a sign of Russia’s evolving stature among some U.S. social conservatives, the Illinois-based World Congress of Families plans to hold its eighth international conference at the Kremlin’s Palace of Congresses in Moscow next year. Past conferences in Europe, Mexico and Australia have brought together opponents of abortion and same-sex marriage from dozens of countries.” http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/01/russia-anti-gay-bill_n_3530050.html
My premise is that the battle for the right to be of different sexual orientation is a subset of the battle to impose a religious based morality on people under the color of law. The issue of Gay rights is just one aspect of this threat. It has assumed almost a center stage in the battle to theocratize governments because for males all over the world, the idea of not being “man enough” hits at the core of their being. I reject the whole concept that a male’s self worth should be tied up in his sexual preferences and experiences. Many who have known me view me in macho terms. As the son of a “man’s man” I learned how to interact with other males and can talk sports, cars and women with the best of them. There is a swagger to my walk and with my height and large head many friends called and call me “Big Mike”. I played many sports and while never a good athlete I was competent as a player. Those who really know me best though see my more sensitive, feminine and in many ways better side. I’m a bit of a gossip; I love Broadway Musicals; loved Judy Garland and Peter Allen and I cry copiously in both joy and sorrow. Yes those are clichés used regarding Gay men, but these clichés apply to me as well.
I believe that for the human race finally to learn to live together peacefully and harmoniously we need to learn to stop making these distinctions about what is the natural state for perhaps ten percent of all of humans and indeed animals. Our sexual drives are complex and the need to satisfy our sexual urges is what drives us to interact with others. Sexuality needs to be viewed in its true sense as a spectrum of responses humans make in the search for pleasure and fulfillment. A good part of sexuality is curiosity and indeed one of the reasons humans have progressed so far is that we have an insatiable curiosity. This leads me to my own confession which I alluded to in the title and in my opening of this blog. In the 60’s and in the early 70’s I was an active participant in what was known as the sexual revolution. For the homosexual community the opening battle for their rights could be said to have occurred in the Stonewall Riots. I had many gay friends and acquaintances when those protests began on June 28th 1969. I even knew some who directly participated. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stonewall_riots
When news of the protests reached the media I cried in joy at the unity in fighting back against police repression and the corruption it engendered. In the following days I shared the sense of triumph coming from those protests with my Gay friends. To me looking back this was the opening shot of the fight for Gay freedom. Since I was so openly a supporter of freedom from oppression for the Gay community it was inevitable that a few years later one of my Gay male friends would proposition me. That this occurred was well known in my social group and there was good natured pressure on me to at least give it a try. This pressure arose partly because at the time I was involved in a ménage with two women and they playfully taunted me that what was good for the goose, was good for the gander. It was with much fear and trepidation that I took my male friend up on his offer. My experience was a good one and there was pleasure to be had, but it also confirmed for me that my sexual preference was for the female body. So it goes and it matters not if it had led me on a different relationship path. It was said back in the day that one could be a married man for years, but if a man had even one homosexual experience he was a queer. That is frankly nonsense and is believed by ignorant people. Admittedly I gave into peer pressure and in a sense I can’t claim that my experiment was one of courage, but I would also be lying if I denied that I was curious about the difference between gay and straight sex. The truth is that there is really very little difference except body structure and the limits that imposes. The underlying reality though is that normal human interaction between individuals doesn’t differ to any great degree and depends primarily on the personality of the participants. I look back upon my experiments in sexuality with warmth and a certain amount of pride that I was able to satisfy my curiosity along with the pleasure it brought.
However, that is not my point. What one does with their sexuality, provided it is consensual and among peers, is nobody’s business but that of the participants. One’s sexuality neither defines ones character, nor does it define one’s self worth. Those “paragons” of morality, who would call those whose sexual practices don’t conform to their own “evil,” are to my mind somewhat crazy. Why should any of us care how people get their pleasure as long as it harms no one?
In many places of the world, in many eras of civilization’s long history, religion has made sexuality a target of hatred. Some, but certainly not all religions target sexuality as a means of gaining political power. In many eras through history religion and government have had a symbiotic relationship, with religious belief being used to assist the powers that be in retaining their power and their positions atop a society’s hierarchy. We see in the Gospels of Christianity for instance a Jesus who disdains wealth, abjures the rich and would even break bread with those looked down upon by society. Jesus never once deals with homosexuality. Yet the Roman Catholic Church began under the control of the Roman Emperor and so the emphasis of Jesus strictures to “turn the other cheek” or the difficulties of a rich man getting into Heaven were downplayed and the Pentateuch’s sexual rigidity was brought to the forefront. I don’t mean to single out Christianity in this respect, because we see the same pattern existing in all great religions. Economic disparity and oppression are hard to justify morally and certainly would put any religion on a collision course with the elite’s power that they seek to share, so sexuality becomes an easy focus. Those with political power and wealth don’t mind sexual repression since it never interferes with their own pleasures and it certainly helps to keep the common folk down. Since most places throughout human history have been dominated by Alpha Males repression of homosexuality has found approval, but no more so than repression of women’s rights. The irony is that some of the most “Alpha” of males like the Spartan Army and Alexander The Great were probably gay, or at the least “Bi”. Then of course they were pagans and in many of those religions sexuality was of little import.
The prejudice against the LBGT community is a real evil that we face simply because it is a prejudice against the reality of human nature. To demonize people for their sexuality, their sex, the color of their skin or for their ethnicity is the real evil in this world. I support, nay demand, full citizenship rights for the LBGT community and if in your opposition to that natural state you want to call me queer, go right ahead, I’ll wear the mantle proudly.
Submitted By: Mike Spindell, Guest Blogger
A post I sent before this last one failed to post. Could a moderator release it please?
Squeeky,
I should tell you this story. I grew up on a defunct farm. When I was a teen-ager, the adjacent farm was sold off to a property developer. The first thing to be built was a road that extended all the way back to the front edge of a field called “the Pigeon Wing field”, so-called because it was shaped like a bird wing, with a secluded “wing” tip surrounded by overarching trees. After the road was built, young heterosexual people with cars discovered that they could drive to the end of the new road, enter the Pigeon Wing field, and park in the secluded tip, and make love to one another. Sometimes, in the afternoon, when I was walking my dog on our property, I could see their parked cars in the Pigeon Wing Field. Shrug. So be it.
But one day, when there was no parked car there, on a whim I wandered into the pigeon wing tip area. Nothing to see, really, till I looked down. Embedded in the grass were tens or hundreds of used condoms.
My question is, are gay meetings in public places really that different than heterosexuals’ Lovers’ Lanes?
Here’s a (great) song from the 1930s(!). One of the lyrics is: “There oughtta be a law in clover time / To keep that moon out overtime / To keep each Lovers’ Lane in rhyme till dawning”.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYAU5BQC_1s
Vestal Virgin
Squeeky,
I’m not putting all the blame for gay misbehavior on being locked out of restraining social institutions like marriage & religion, but I am putting some of the blame.
Heterosexual social institutions are advocated for in conservative circles as being valuable in part because of the restraint they provide on heterosexual sexuality. I presume the arguments are things like the goalposts of temptation not being the same among all individuals, or life dealing trying circumstances now and then that weaken otherwise strong people’s resolve, or because the social contact you have through these provide reference points for staying emotionally balanced. Now the same people, having extolled the benefit of these institutions, and having blocked entrance into them by gay people, turn around and blame gays for the totality of their misbehavior. Gays have had to live in the institutionless virtual reality created by heterosexual rejection, and they have to keep their emotional balance across a lifetime, a high-wire feat not required of straight people.
There’s something I’d like to call the “Last Boy Scout Syndrome” that I hope might shed light on our conversation. I haven’t seen the movie, but the title matches what I’m trying to express. It’s the dead end of shifting group identity within the mind. If a foreigner commits a heinous crime, for example, I group him in my mind with all nonmembers of my nationality (or I group him with all members of his own nationality, of which I’m not a part). If a person from another region of my country commits a heinous crime, I group him with all nonresidents of my region (or with all residents of his region, of which I’m not a part). If a person from a neighboring town commits a heinous crime, I group him with all nonresidents of my own town. In other words, I keep drawing tighter and tighter circles around myself (or around him) to avoid shared group membership with the person of whom I disapprove. In the other direction, I draw them more broadly the more I approve of or admire a person.
In context of sexuality, it might go like this: Yuck, that dirty Melvin isn’t like us straights. Yuck, that dirty Anthony isn’t like us *conservative* straights. Yuck, that dirty Silvio may be a right winger, but he isn’t like us *true* conservative straights. And so on. With the shifting group identity narrowing ever further to avoid having to take ownership of a fellow group member’s grossness.
This being case, unless I’ve got it wrong somehow, if I have to take ownership of gay promiscuity (by sharing the same label that other people have attached tangibleness to in their mind), why shouldn’t a straight person have to take ownership of things like heterosexual prostitution, trafficking of women and girls, and heterosexual rape. These are, after all, enduring characteristics of heterosexuality; things that, though not common to most heterosexuals, are persistent, historical features of it.
With regard to SSM, I didn’t get into this thread to argue it, but since you invited me to talk about it, I think heteros, or at least those who argue for traditional marriage, should man up a little. If it’s de facto polygamy for you, then it had better be gay marriage for me. If marriage is all you say it is, whether your reasoning comes from religion, or from the natural human incentives that flow from marriage being centered around reproduction (Sherif Girgis) then you ought be willing to live the rather serious consequences, too, instead of refusing to but demanding that a wholly unrelated person, a person who is entirely outside this framework, must. The way it is now, you could meet your husband for a night of post-separation sex, be at the courthouse the following day for your divorce hearing, have your boyfriend pick you up outside the courthouse (cafe latte in hand, just for you, the charming thing!) so the both of you could be on time for the anti-SSM rally in front of the assembly building. Given the current state of marriage-divorce law & culture, denying gay people SSM is kind of like a man who wipes his mouth on his necktie giving out unsolicited grooming tips.
No thanks!
Vestal Virgin
V wrote: ” Given the current state of marriage-divorce law & culture, denying gay people SSM is kind of like a man who wipes his mouth on his necktie giving out unsolicited grooming tips.”
Good point for sure, but one must ask whether such hypocrisy means we have to become like the man who wipes his mouth with his necktie. It seems like your argument is that we can’t change the man wiping his mouth so everyone should just give up on grooming.
Otteray,
Dan Savage was behind it.
Dan Savage: Rick Santorum Google Bomb Is An ‘Insanely Dirty Joke,’ Just Like His Views On Gay Rights
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/06/dan-savage-rick-santorum-google_n_1257300.html
Excerpt:
Sex advice columnist and outspoken gay rights activist Dan Savage, on his way to the University of North Texas to serve as keynote speaker for a Equity & Diversity Conference this week, took a minute to continue his ongoing feud with GOP presidential candidate Rick Santorum in an interview with the Fort Worth Star-Telegram over the weekend.
Savage’s anti-Santorum drive is best remembered by his public campaign to change the definition of the word “Santorum” from the last name of the former Pennsylvania senator to a sexual neologism involving anal sex. In his interview, he admitted that the move was incredibly crass, and said that was the point.
“It’s still out there and it is an insanely dirty joke,” Savage told the Star-Telegram. “It is crude. It is vile, as are Santorum’s comments about gay people.”
marijuana is legal in two states
gay marriage is legal in eight
sex with a horse is legal in twenty three*
*(my source for this was facebook, so if i’m off by one or two in any category please feel free to correct me)
raff,
That was originally a Google Bomb. After he made some really stupid remarks–kind of like some on this thread–a computer guy ran a contest for finding a new definition of “Santorum.” That was the winner. So many people clicked on it, it shot to the top of the Google search list for his name. It became so popular that he tried to pressure Google into taking it down, but they refused.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Campaign_for_%22santorum%22_neologism
OS,
Where did you find that one! 🙂
We are talking about spreading Santorum now?
http://spreadingsantorum.com/
Darren,
I love that video!
i wanna be a duck
@DavidBlewFish
I’ll see your Rick Santorum,and raise you this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ZfuW8W9KQtw#at=428
Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter
(PS: WTF was Santorum talking about??? Showering at the YMCA???)
Maybe now…http://youtu.be/emF3gtmVS0s
For all you homophones…http://youtu.be/emF3gtmVS0s
Here’s some inspiration for you Squeeky, from the guy that said “don’t send your kids to college to be brainwashed.”
Oh, I was busy doing a poem to commemorate this tragic event:
Pavane For A Park Fairy,
Or Melvin Among The Nightingales
by Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter
There behind the bush, Nandina,
Dark beneath the lofty pine,
Waited Melvin for Prince Charming,
Near the “Public Restroom” sign.
From the stalls, an amber glowing
Softened up the night beyond,
Melvin popped an Orbit Breath Mint,
Whilst he touched his Fairy Wand.
Lo! The sound of ‘proaching foot steps,
Firm upon the darken’d lane.
As he listen’d hard, he ‘membered
Poems of Rimbaud and Verlaine.
Now, the time for assignation!
Melvin made a pretext stop.
But as he groped he found a badge!
Sacre Bleu! It t’was a COP!
He totes Melvin to a cop car,
In the back door, deftly stuffs.
Melvin asked his “Prince” but one boon. . .
“Could you use my velvet cuffs???”
Squeeky Fromm
Girl reporter
RWL,
What Mike said.
Mike A.,
🙂
When sex with ducks and gay marriage are one in the same.
Mike A.,
“Amphibian”. ROFL
Those guys are nuts.
Thanks, Darren.