“Have It Your Way”: Where Putin Invades, Burger King Will Follow

Burger_King_(1955-1968)225px-Vladimir_Putin_official_portraitMcDonald’s recently pulled out of the Crimea after the takeover of the Ukrainian peninsula by Vladimir Putin. While Putin’s authoritarian move did not appear to appeal to McDonald’s, it is only fitting that Burger King would be attracted to the imperial tendencies of Putin. The chain has announced that it will fill the void and expand into the Crimea.

McDonald’s has been in Russia since the Soviet era.

Burger King was previously not in the Crimea but that changed when Putin sent in the tanks. Russia’s second-largest bank, state-owned VTB, owns a 47 percent stake in Burger King Russia.

No doubt Burger King’s slogan of “Have It Your Way” appears to Putin. After all, when it comes to international law, he has been having it his way for years.


25 thoughts on ““Have It Your Way”: Where Putin Invades, Burger King Will Follow”

  1. Schulte: Those Russians put good butter on their boots….. well it is grease so those feet should have stayed dry. However, that only tells us that when we were trying to help them out, they were one up on us. They sure didn’t trust us. Someone in the Govt should have picked up on that one. Putin…uh hu he no dummy. That there butter might have been laced with poison…..Yep, we should have kept it. Oh well, hind sight?

    1. been there – Well, FDR was sure he could handle ‘Uncle Joe’ and so he gave him stuff to keep him happy while we were ramping up for a Continental invasion, or 2nd Front.
      The history book club used to sell the Soviet version of their H.S. WWII course. The Soviets were the only ones involved in the war against the Germans and Japanese. Fascinating read.

  2. Pete: Yep, White castle is the one I would send them. They have tried for years to kill us with those hockey pucks. Once you eat one, you eat it again and again, and again for hours. Yep send them to Putin.

    Nick: Why suggest the best oil for Russia and Crimea, Why not tell all our cattle and beef slaughter houses to save all that lard (cow fat) and send it to Russia to fry those burgers with. Why kill us, better them than us. SATURATED FAT, Yeah!

    Jason: Don’t send them our sugar buns, I am getting older and need the energy besides I like them.

    Don de Drain: Got to hand it to your Judge, at least he has a sarcastic sense of humor

    1. been there – during WWII we sent the Soviets butter to help them out. They used it to cover the outside of their boots for more layering. We should have sent them lard and kept the butter ourselves. 🙂

  3. Judge Real used to be the Chief Judge of the USDC for the Central District of California. He is on Senior Judge status now, I believe

  4. This is obviously a conspiracy between Putin and Judge Manny Real. You have not lived a full life until you have heard Judge Real tell an attorney in his courtroom: “Counsel, this isn’t Burger King. You don’t get it your way. “

  5. A sugary bun is why Micky Dee’s is successful. Everyone knows how to cook better food, at least here in the countryside anyway–this is why they pull out. Is too sweet a food for rural The Rooshia.

  6. The king can do no wrong:

    The Government presents an impressive array of theories which would preclude it from any liability … we … hold that the Government should escape unscathed … It is often said that the doctrine of sovereign immunity is a derivative of the common law maxim “The King can do no wrong.” But conceptually it is far older. Zeus himself carried an aegis or breastplate, a buckler, and a thunderbolt which made him, the mythological sovereign, immune from all that could beset him. And common law provided its sovereign with the immunity of Zeus … The tide of history is running clearly against the concept of sovereign immunity. The disfavor into which the doctrine has fallen was observed as far back as … 1939 … [and] this Court pointed out that the assault upon the citadel of immunity continues presently apace.

    (U.S. Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals). So says the jingoist party.

  7. Nick Spinelli: ‘The US is exporting all our fast food addictive “crack” and getting the world hooked. Then, President Bloomberg will outlaw it in the US. We’ll be jonesing for a year or so. But, then we will again become healthy and our food will enslave the rest of the world.’

    You’re crackin’ me up…ummm I mean your making me laugh. Except the part about President Bloomberg… that has me worried.

  8. The Burger King story aside, Putin has hardly commited any authoritarian moves with regards to Crimea or the Ukraine for that matter. Was it not the US ambassador caught on tape admitting the uprising was infact due to US backing? I remember “F the EU”, & the great Neo Nazis the Americans have installed there as being the authoritarians. As far as Putin he’s a corrupt politician, however Russia’s moves were rational compared to the fading Republic USSA’s bloviating about international law, which they disregard all the time. Russia has a vested interest in Crimea, and does not want to be further encircled by an insolvent US govt looking for war to sway public opinion away from torture, assassination, mass survellience…the list is endless. So this maybe a light hearted article but it irks me no end to hear US govt talking points when it’s quite obvious, like in Egypt, Libya, attempted in Syria the US govt is ready for a coup whenever it deems another govt is against it’s imperial interests.

    1. This probably adds nothing to the discussion but McDonalds pulled out of Russia a while back. They were not making any money. With Putin in charge of the Crimea they were probably not going to make any money their either.

  9. McDonald’s prefers countries where the president, or acting president, finds the constitution, not to mention the public weal, booooooooriiiiiing. Without grand bargains to impoverish old folks or austerity imposing IMF loans to impoverish everyone – except the oligarchy, of course – McDonalds apparantly can’t convince anyone to eat their, ahem, food well, what ever it is they call it.

  10. Burger King following the man with the cojones instead of the wimp of
    Washington, AKA the liar

  11. RWL, What makes Canola oil desirable is it is mono saturated “good fat.” Just use olive oil, it is much better.

  12. I’m sure they’ll get a living wage. Putin is VERY concerned w/ his minions getting a living wage. This is actually a very sinister CIA plot. Burger King has more incredibly unhealthy food than even McDonalds. The US is exporting all our fast food addictive “crack” and getting the world hooked. Then, President Bloomberg will outlaw it in the US. We’ll be jonesing for a year or so. But, then we will again become healthy and our food will enslave the rest of the world. I just submitted this story idea to Oliver Stone and he loves it.

  13. I am not sure what the point here is. I don’t go to Burger King and I have never been to the Crimea so I am unlikely to go to Burger King in the Crimea. It is clear that with McDonald’s pulling out there is a crying need for fast food hamburgers. Burger King will fill that need. So?

  14. Did you know that most fast food (and most restaurants) places use Canola oil to cook the food? Canola oil is also in most foods commonly sold on our shelves. Finally, Canola oil (short for Canada Oil) is shold on the shelves of our friendly grocery stores.

    With this being said, a few health experts assert that Canola oil is ‘processed’ with our common household cleaning agent (bleach) and rat poison.

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