Academia, Environment, International

Cloudy With A Chance of Executions: Kim Jong Un Warns Meteorologists About “Incorrect Forecasts”

Kim_Jong-il_PortraitWe have all cursed the weather man on occasion but North Korean forecasters are facing a more tangible threat this week. North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has turned his menacing eye on meteorologists and warned that there are “many incorrect forecasts.” Since reports state that Kim Jong Un had his wife’s former musical group executed, forecasters are understandably concerned that one unpredicted rain shower could bring lead showers. If Al Roker gets a call with a job offer from Pyongyang he might want to read the fine print.


Kim has of course continued his father’s policy of cutting off his country and virtually starving the population while he lives lavishly as a type of community godhead. There is no indication that he is anything more than a thuggish dolt. However, he went to the state-run Hydro-Meteorological Service to give guidance to the meteorologists that they need to avoid wrong forecasts. The problem is that his government has not only cut itself off from the world but the world’s technology. While spending a good portion of his revenues on weapons and a nuclear program, Kim has left North Korean in the stone age. Forecasters would have probably pointed out that they have been left with the scientific equivalent to a rock and metal rod for predictions, but that would result in a 100% chance of dead weathermen.

With a drought worsening the nation’s lack of food, Kim reportedly visited the site “to learn in detail about meteorological observation and weather forecast.” He is shown giving instructions to the meteorologists from his official state-recognized natural brilliance.

173 thoughts on “Cloudy With A Chance of Executions: Kim Jong Un Warns Meteorologists About “Incorrect Forecasts””

  1. Nick Spinelli

    All scientists believed the liver pumped blood through our circular system up until 300 years ago.
    ================
    So what made it stop … blowviating?

  2. Paul C. Schulte

    Hurricanes are weather, not climate.
    =================
    They are both but who wants to talk semantics in a life and death scenario?

  3. “Since reports state that Kim Jong Un had his wife’s former musical group executed, forecasters are understandably concerned that one unpredicted rain shower could bring lead showers.” – JT

    And since other reports say they saw her singing after the first report of her death, perhaps the weather Uns will predict the resurrection of the dead next.

    No biggy … you get shot … you rise back to life … what’s the worry?

  4. I Like this part where NOAA says

    “The bar charts below indicate there has been little trend in the frequency of the stronger tornadoes over the past 55 years.”

    since this was written 2013 one of the least active Tornado season on record with a well BELOW average start to 2014

  5. With increased National Doppler radar coverage, increasing population, and greater attention to tornado reporting, there has been an increase in the number of tornado reports over the past several decades. This can create a misleading appearance of an increasing trend in tornado frequency. To better understand the variability and trend in tornado frequency in the United States, the total number of EF-1 and stronger, as well as strong to violent tornadoes (EF-3 to EF-5 category on the Enhanced Fujita scale) can be analyzed. These tornadoes would have likely been reported even during the decades before Doppler radar use became widespread and practices resulted in increasing tornado reports. The bar charts below indicate there has been little trend in the frequency of the stronger tornadoes over the past 55 years.

    http://www.ncdc.noaa.gov/climate-information/extreme-events/us-tornado-climatology/trends

  7. “If scientists were wrong on one thing, they are wrong on everything.

    I tell if they are right or not by asking myself.” – Larry Luddite

  8. Nick Spinelli

    All scientists believed that heavier objects fell faster than lighter objects.
    =====================
    Therefore they still do, because there was no scientist to confront them.

    Or, not all scientists believed, therefore, a scientist proved some other scientists wrong.

    Some still believe the olden way because all scientists can be wrong ya know.

  11. All scientists believed the liver pumped blood through our circular system up until 300 years ago.

  12. Also keep in mind we are at 400ppm of atmospheric C02 350ppm was the tipping point. See 350.org

  13. All scientists believed that heavier objects fell faster than lighter objects.

  15. Oh I see so you want authoritative

    The graph shows that in the late 1800’s activity was at the highest. Keep in mind how Hurricanes were recorded back then through observations on land and ship reports. There were no satellites. How many more were not counted because they were Fish Storms and didn’t get seen by satellite imagery. Then followed by a long term decline until we hit around 1930 and a 15 year uptick to around late 1950 then another decline until 1995 when we get another uptick but remaining below the 1800’s when there were no satellites. Then followed by another decline. Now to go with this particular decline the United States is in the longest stretch in the hurricane record going back to the 1800’s to go without a Major Hurricane Strike Cat 3 or Higher. 2013 one of the least active hurricane seasons on record and world wide Tropical Cyclone Activity remains at 30-40 year lows for the 4th going on 5th year in a row.

    http://www.epa.gov/climatechange/images/indicator_downloads/cyclones-download1-2014.png

  16. Kim Jung Un,

    “The combined average temperature over global land and ocean surfaces for April 2014 tied with 2010 as the highest on record for the month …” – NOAA / NCDC

    Kimmy, leave those kids alone!

  17. Joe Blow

    No one denies the Earth has warmed just as no one can deny the Earth has cooled …

    Joe Blow

    … Global Warming Makes Couples Cheat, Says Dating Website
    ======================
    Thanks for at least trying to link to an official site you consider to be authoritative on global warning induced climate change.

    It explains a lot.

  18. Paul C. Schulte

    ….

    Preponderance of science does not make it so.
    ======================
    Neither does false junk science.

  19. Joe Blow

    Hurricane force winds hit the coastal U.S. last October.

    THAT DOESN’T MEAN THEIR WAS A HURRICANE
    ======================
    Call it a typhoon on a diet if you want.

    Semantics.

    But be careful of that Kim Jung Un dood.

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