Jim Bakker was last seen by most people after his sex scandal and then sentencing for fraud. Now he is back and he will totting pancake mix. Bakker is shilling for people to call a 1-888 phone number to give him $60 (plus shipping) for a bucket of pancake mix. The alternative appears to be starving your children and handing them over to the Biblical Beast.
Bakker has gone full apocalyptic with a culinary twist. He sees Trump as biblically sent:
“You know, if they kill our president, or they destroy him or whatever. If we elect the other side, I mean they’ve come out against God . . . I think maybe Trump is here to give us time to get ready, because all hell is going to break loose . . . We’re not going to have the anti-Christ to show up to get the sign of the mark of our beast on our forehead, it won’t happen without hunger . . . Hunger is going to be the main thing. You don’t get it, most people don’t want to get it, but that’s why I’m so obsessed with you all being prepared.”
Fortunately, you can meet the apocalypse with not just pancake mix for 400 but blueberry pancakes to keep the Biblical Beast from the door.
That raises some interesting marketing slogans for the Bakker pancakes (your suggestions are welcomed):
- Bakker’s Pancakes: Because Satan Hates Breakfast
- Eat Pancakes, Save A Soul
- Syrup Not Sin: The Path To Salvation Starts With Breakfast
- Bakker’s Pancakes: Because Breakfast is the most important meal of the apocalypse
- Breakfast or The Beast: Choose Bakker’s Pancakes