Rev. Jim Bakker: Buy My Pancake Mix Or Make Flapjacks In Hell?

Screen Shot 2017-11-18 at 6.26.28 PM.pngJim Bakker was last seen by most people after his sex scandal and then sentencing for fraud.  Now he is back and he will totting pancake mix.  Bakker is shilling for people to call a 1-888 phone number to give him $60 (plus shipping) for a bucket of pancake mix.  The alternative appears to be starving your children and handing them over to the Biblical Beast.

Bakker has gone full apocalyptic with a culinary twist.  He sees Trump as biblically sent:

“You know, if they kill our president, or they destroy him or whatever. If we elect the other side, I mean they’ve come out against God . . . I think maybe Trump is here to give us time to get ready, because all hell is going to break loose . . . We’re not going to have the anti-Christ to show up to get the sign of the mark of our beast on our forehead, it won’t happen without hunger . . . Hunger is going to be the main thing. You don’t get it, most people don’t want to get it, but that’s why I’m so obsessed with you all being prepared.”

Fortunately, you can meet the apocalypse with not just pancake mix for 400 but blueberry pancakes to keep the Biblical Beast from the door.

That raises some interesting marketing slogans for the Bakker pancakes (your suggestions are welcomed):

  1.  Bakker’s Pancakes:  Because Satan Hates Breakfast
  2. Eat Pancakes, Save A Soul
  3. Syrup Not Sin: The Path To Salvation Starts With Breakfast
  4. Bakker’s Pancakes: Because Breakfast is the most important meal of the apocalypse
  5. Breakfast or The Beast: Choose Bakker’s Pancakes

 

71 thoughts on “Rev. Jim Bakker: Buy My Pancake Mix Or Make Flapjacks In Hell?

  1. Preying upon the naive and politically poisoned.

    It is abhorrent to use God to justify bad behavior.

    $60 for a bucket of pancakes??? If anyone lives in a natural disaster area and wants to stock up, then they can get far better quality food with a stable shelf life. If all you want is pancakes then you can store the dry ingredients for a fraction of that cost.

  2. In 2012 I was shopping at my local Wal-Mart and overheard three persons in the aisle agree that Mitt Romney was the Anti-Christ and that unless Obama was voted in the world would fall before the forces of hell that Romney would unleash. Oh and it wasn’t Jim Bakker I passed in the aisle…..

  3. Off topic: What is it with some of you people that you tie Trump into everything. Whether it’s Jim Bakker or what ever topic is being discussed. With some of you folks it’s all Trump all the time. What’s Thanksgiving going to be like at your house?

    • They’re gonna blame the dry and stringy turkey on Trump, the undercooked dressing, brimming with salmonella from being stuffed into a turkey’s cavity and never reaching the proper temperature, not mention Uncle Sigfried’s flatulence and Aunt Melba’s incessant burping. Trump is all powerful. He is responsible for miserable all holiday get-togethers, including Bakker’s decision to try to sell pancake mix. Perhaps these malcontents serve a purpose, after all? At Thanksgiving, remember to look around your holiday table and give thanks that you don’t have to deal with these dour, miserable individuals at your celebration. Something for which we can all truly be thankful.

  4. Off topic: Ivory hunters. People who kill elephants so as to sell their ivory to other humans. Lets kill those humans and seal their teeth.
    Elephants need to live. Killers need to die. Teeth need to be sold for idiots who might buy ivory.

  5. CV Brown – it has been at least a week since I have seen a comment from Autumn, she may be on vacation or sick or very busy. Hopefully, one of those and will be back soon. 🙂 No, I do not want to come to Alabama unless I get to vote. 😉 Maybe not even then. This is the time of year it is gorgeous in the Valley of the Sun. It is the reason we all moved here. Cannot leave now. 🙂

  6. Bakker’s pancakes go well w/ Benny Hinn breakfast sausage and Jimmy Swaggart OJ. A breakfast that will fill you up and cure Stage 4 cancer.

  7. The spin under which Jim Bakker’s BIo is noted on his website is quite interesting-..and quite entertaining-it is about America and how those can rise up yet again–but what I found amusing though was one of the guests on their show: Michelle Bachman.
    On a more serous note, though, I waned to wish Professor Turley & the entire Turley Community a joyous thanksgiving…

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