Rev. Jim Bakker: Buy My Pancake Mix Or Make Flapjacks In Hell?

Screen Shot 2017-11-18 at 6.26.28 PM.pngJim Bakker was last seen by most people after his sex scandal and then sentencing for fraud.  Now he is back and he will totting pancake mix.  Bakker is shilling for people to call a 1-888 phone number to give him $60 (plus shipping) for a bucket of pancake mix.  The alternative appears to be starving your children and handing them over to the Biblical Beast.

Bakker has gone full apocalyptic with a culinary twist.  He sees Trump as biblically sent:

“You know, if they kill our president, or they destroy him or whatever. If we elect the other side, I mean they’ve come out against God . . . I think maybe Trump is here to give us time to get ready, because all hell is going to break loose . . . We’re not going to have the anti-Christ to show up to get the sign of the mark of our beast on our forehead, it won’t happen without hunger . . . Hunger is going to be the main thing. You don’t get it, most people don’t want to get it, but that’s why I’m so obsessed with you all being prepared.”

Fortunately, you can meet the apocalypse with not just pancake mix for 400 but blueberry pancakes to keep the Biblical Beast from the door.

That raises some interesting marketing slogans for the Bakker pancakes (your suggestions are welcomed):

  1.  Bakker’s Pancakes:  Because Satan Hates Breakfast
  2. Eat Pancakes, Save A Soul
  3. Syrup Not Sin: The Path To Salvation Starts With Breakfast
  4. Bakker’s Pancakes: Because Breakfast is the most important meal of the apocalypse
  5. Breakfast or The Beast: Choose Bakker’s Pancakes


71 thoughts on “Rev. Jim Bakker: Buy My Pancake Mix Or Make Flapjacks In Hell?”

  1. Demonic pancakes, I rebuke you!

    Lord Jesus who turned water into syrup and fish into flapjacks, verily you have put your sign upon Trump so we may know him and be saved. Just as Trump is helping KSA starve millions in Yemen, his plan for the poor in the US follows the Beatitudes so completely that only a true sinner does not see how miraculous Trump is!

    These statements by Jesus exactly represent the way Trump conducts himself, showing he is God’s chosen king for the world!:

    “Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven. (Matthew 5:3)
    Blessed are those who mourn: for they will be comforted. (5:4)
    Blessed are the meek: for they will inherit the earth. (5:5)
    Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness: for they will be filled. (5:6)
    Blessed are the merciful: for they will be shown mercy. (5:7)
    Blessed are the pure in heart: for they will see God. (5:8)
    Blessed are the peacemakers: for they will be called children of God. (5:9)”

    (BTW, least you think God is just talking about Trump, one could say the same of Clinton!)

  2. Then they reminded Jesus that adultery was punishable by stoning under Mosaic law and challenged him to judge the woman so that they might then accuse him of disobeying the law. Jesus thought for a moment and then replied,

    “He that is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone at her.”

    I’m just sayin’.

  3. Using fear to sell a mundane product like pancake mix is strange. Since Freud’s nephew, Eddie Bernays, invented corporate advertising after WWI, business has mostly tried to manipulate our emotions in a positive way to sell their products and services. They want us to associate the product with a positive desire or aspiration, rather than with a negative emotion. By way of example, nobody NEEDS to drink carbonated sugar water. So the way to sell it is to position it in your mind in a way that makes you feel good about yourself for associating with it. If you drink Coca Cola, you’re a good person. You are part of an imaginary John Lennon like world where everybody is a peaceful, loving hippie who only wants to “buy the world a home, furnish it with love, grow apple trees and honey bees and snow white turtle doves.” Where everyone sings in perfect harmony.

    Using fear to sell pancake mix is a strange marketing tactic. However, I don’t see much difference between Bakker and Coca Cola. Bakker is manipulating you to make you fearful, and Coke is manipulating you to associate its sugar water with a different set of emotions: peace, love, harmony. But the’re both manipulating your emotions to try to sell you their product. You have free will. Whether you buy or not is entirely your choice.

    1. I assume that you have never ventured into one of those stores which sells products specifically targeted to survivalists. Products, where the sole purpose is to help the consumer stay alive. Survive, when others, less prepared and savvy, are dying. Tablets, which purify water. Meals, freeze dried, which can last for years. Yes. And, just how do you think those products are marketed? They are marketed by zeroing in on our fears. Worries. Anxieties. Yep. They are marketed to those who fear a disaster. A disaster which prevents them from obtaining clean water. A catastrophe which denies them access to readily available food. Ever watch commercials, late at night, trying to sell us home protection services? You think that those aren’t sold and marketed by focusing in on our fears for security and safety? Get real. Your theory, about companies shying away from targeting our fears and insecurities, is rubbish. Pure and simple. It happens all the time. Look around you.

        1. I can purchase a lipstick at the drugstore for $1.00 and I can purchase a lipstick at Nordstrom for $54.00. And, your point is. . .? ?

  4. How many of us have stopped by our local churches, on a Friday, and enjoyed a fish fry–knowing and comprehending that we weren’t simply there to fill our stomachs? We fully understand that we can grab a meal anywhere, anyplace, yet we make a conscious and deliberate decision to buy the product offered by the church. Why? Because doing so supports the activities and work of the church, regardless of whether we worship in the same manner or fashion as said church. That’s why. The meal, purchased by us, serves two purposes–it feeds our physical hunger and it allows us to help support the message of a worthy and valuable cause. The church, offering such meals, may not even be associated with a denomination or a religion to which we, personally, identify. Nevertheless, we witness people, from across the community, from various religious backgrounds, participating and enjoying such events. No one blinks an eye. A custom, so ingrained in our lives, that no one stops to question it. No one stops to vilify it. The food being served at said events isn’t touted as possessing any special healing powers. No one is being conned. No one is being harmed. No one is being ripped off. It is considered a quite normal and acceptable tradition in most communities. A tradition in which I would dare presume that JT, himself, has participated, at one point or another during his lifetime.

    Now, compare and contrast that with what is transpiring with Bakker. He doesn’t claim to be selling magical pancake mix. He isn’t selling a product that is grossly overpriced. He is not attempting to con anyone. He is speaking to the faithful–those who believe in the predictions pertaining to the end-of-times. Buying his product serves two purposes, just like attending a fish fry at the local church does–it serves a legitimate purpose in providing a tangible product for the money tendered and it goes to support a message and cause. That’s it. Pretty simple. The knee-jerk reaction, to automatically condemn and denounce the actions of Bakker, when said exact same actions are prevalent throughout our respective communities, is troubling, to say the least.

    I find it astounding, especially in a legal blog, that someone, like JT, who claims to want and pursue fairness and equality, is so quick to denounce and ridicule Bakker for the mere act of selling a product. An act which is not unlike that of his own employer, GWB, which flagrantly hawks its emblazoned wares, online and on campus, to advertise its name and brand. I also find it astounding that an individual, like Moore, who has served decades in service to the community, is automatically lambasted and condemned. Condemned before the various accusations, against him, have been fully and thoroughly investigated. Lambasted and condemned before the accusers and their motives have been meticulously scrutinized. A rush to destroy a life and a career without a moment’s hesitation to first sort out the truth from fiction. Yes. Astounded.

    1. Bakker has been a charlatan since day one when he was with Tammy Fay. He went to prison for fraud.

      Have you ever heard any of his broadcasts. They are pure conspiracy theories. Typically he talks about how Christians are being persecuted, the LGBT community wants to force its agenda on evvrryonr else, discrimination based on sexual identification is perfectly fine, etc., etc.

      He’s nothing more than a carnival barker.

      1. TV evangelists and things the cat dragged in: Something nobody wants but mysteriously makes its way into the house.
      2. Typically he talks about how Christians are being persecuted, the LGBT community wants to force its agenda on evvrryonr else, discrimination based on sexual identification is perfectly fine, etc., etc

        I’ve never listened to his broadcasts. That being said, you don’t need to be a conspiracy theorist to recognize Christians are being persecuted around the world. In fact you’d need to be morally blind to deny it.

  5. I m wondering when his alter ego will appear doing syrup? This reminded me and has much the same value of the old story of s reporter who caught Tammy Faye Bakker with her makeup off and found out she was really Jimmy Hoffa. One day will some one catch Hillary in much the same situation?

    1. ) – Tammy Fay’s value was that she could cry on cue. You don’t need that for pancakes. 🙂

  6. Silly, silly man. If you want to squeeze $60 out of the people then do it the progressive’s way; lobby the Department of Education to make it mandatory your product is part of the public school breakfast program. By the time your federal contract is secured, the government will be paying $120-180 a container paid by the taxpayers.You’ll have to drop the end-of-times marketing strategy but reach a wider audience.

    In all seriousness, why do so many people care how a citizen sells a product? Are anyone’s rights being violated? If not, then what is your motivation?

    1. I still remember a Johnny Carson skit from long ago, which featured a Tammy Faye makeup kit – a paint roller.

    1. TJB

      Because Baker and his followers are symptomatic of the very poor educational system in this country that cries out for improvement via eliminating the wasteful size of most school district bureaucracies and
      mandating smaller class sizes and better teachers.

      1. “Because Baker and his followers are symptomatic of the very poor educational system in this country ….”

        That’s a big statement and btw it’s “Bakker” not “Baker” since we’re being pedagogic.

  7. I wish he put more money in his 401K plan. Then maybe he would just ride off into the sunset.

  8. This is good stuff: the Neo nazis, white supremacists, the thumpers, and all the rest of the inbred. They must be identified and exposed, along with the history scrubbers, idiots who want to take away the honor’s bestowed on First Nation warriors by sports teams, etc. The extremists must be given front page exposure. That is the best way to diminish their influence, shame them, laugh at them, perhaps they will come around. Otherwise you get what we have now, Trump and that extreme. I doubt very much that if they knew what we were in for, a lot of voters who voted for that dotard, would vote for him again. As disgusting as Hillary is and as far out there as Bernie is, either one would be better than this circus. Now for the pool, who will be the next head to roll? Sessions? Mueller? ???

    1. I don’t get why Trump appeals to religionists other than they both seem to have similar brain neuron dysfunctionality.

        1. Somebody screamed and the creepy
          Orange dude decided to
          Not import da elephant parts for a day. Don Don Jr cried.

      1. Chris

        Trump appeals to the angry, frustrated, ignorant, looking for a big answer to questions they don’t understand types. These are the sort that got him in and to whom he tweets. In order to be an agnostic or an atheist one has to pass through a world of frustration, anger, etc. Then one simply accepts. In order to be religious, for the most part, one has to affirm, reaffirm, be brought back in, stray, and go round and round. This creates a lot of frustration and some anger. This is where the Trump types get their support. They offer a nonsensical, quasi religious, simple minded solution, peppered with blame and an ever changing list of enemies. Reagan did it with the evil empire-the USSR was on the skids long before Reagan. Bush did it after 9/11-at a cost of almost a million innocent lives. There is a combination of morons and fear that offers up a sizable chunk of the voting public. That explains why Trump appeals to religionists. Religionists are frustrated. Trump strokes them and at the same time enflames them.

  9. He could have used puppies. Or maybe kittens.Then again he’s a pro, the man has done this con before. You think that he could come up with a new one.

  10. Rev. Bakker will need to flip an extraordinarily large number of pancakes before Satan promotes him to personal chef.

    Using the baby to promote his wares: such is the way of the charlatan. Surprisingly, he’s not on TV at 2:00 a.m. peddling life insurance to the elderly. Of course, there is no benefit payment, just the promise of everlasting life at death. Premiums start at only 13 dollars a day.

  11. I’m not a fan of Bakker–never was–and I can vividly recall the scandal and his downfall, years ago, but let’s just look at this whole thing, objectively, shall we? For the rock-bottom price of $60, the purchaser gets a pancake mix that will make 400 pancakes. Not bad. That comes out to fifteen cents a pancake, if my math is correct. Obviously, not a ripoff, by most standards. What are the facts? Bakker firmly and genuinely believes in the Apocalypse. He is entitled to his religious beliefs. Those, who believe in the Apocalypse, are also entitled to their religious beliefs. If people, sharing a similar belief system, wish to buy a pancake mix, which he supplies and distributes, supporting him and his message, so f’ng what? I just googled the multitude of online schlock and grossly overpriced garbage, hawked by JT’s school, George Washington University. Everything from baby clothing, to sweatshirts, to home accessories–all unabashedly emblazoned with the school’s name. All being offered up for one reason and one reason only–to turn a buck for the brand. The name. The school. Yeah. I would love to hear JT, use the same set of standards, which he so easily applies to others, with whom he disagrees, and, instead, berate his own school’s administrators for selling and whoring out the overpriced and worthless garbage that it advertises online, just so the school can make a few bucks. I see no difference between Bakker and GWU. One either supports both or condemns both. Which is it, JT? Bakker is selling an item which supports and defends a religious belief system. A belief system pertaining to the circumstances associated with the Apocalypse. Those who buy his pancake mix share those same values. How are said purchasers being harmed? The answer is, they are not being harmed. They are not being ripped off. They are buying a product which they believe will serve a purpose. How much different are the purchasers of the pancake mix from those who want to buy and purchase merchandise which supports and advertises GWU? In both instances, those who purchase said merchandise do so to support the name. The brand. The school. Will JT ever question the appropriateness of GWU hawking merchandise? Will the school ever be condemned for unsavory business practices, where the very wisdom of selling stuff to support a cause is analyzed and critiqued? The Apocalypse will come before that happens.

    1. ” Bakker is selling an item which supports and defends a religious belief system. ”

      What, exactly, is the connection between pan cake mix and Apocalyptic religious belief – aside from the fact that Bakker is involved with both?

      1. Those, who adhere to certain religious beliefs, believe that there will come a time when the world, will be in such disarray, that food supplies will be scarce. It doesn’t matter whether or not you believe that to be true. It doesn’t matter whether or not I believe that to be true. There is an audience for that belief system. Not unlike the multitude of individuals who stock food and supplies for some sort of doomsday scenario, Bakker is speaking to a like-minded audience. He is selling a product. A product associated with a message. He isn’t ripping off anyone. He isn’t conning anyone. For those facts, alone, he has acquired a newfound respect. This all above board. It’s a pancake mix. It makes 400 pancakes. It costs $60.00. He claims that it will come in handy when food is scarce. Take it or leave it.

        1. Thank You, bam bam. The desperate attempt to squeese mirth out of this mistitled blog posting by means of juvenile one-upsmanship, sneering mockery, and supercilious pseudo-sophistication is as sad and ugly as anything we’ve been subjected to in recent days. “Men show their characters in nothing more clearly than in what they think laughable.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749–1832),

    2. Welcome to the Dark Side of the Force, bam bam. We’re saving a special place for you at the breakfast table in Hell. See you real soon. Love, Satan.

      1. If you think that defending an individual’s right to sell a product, which harms no one, is evil and should be mocked and ridiculed. . .if you believe that an individual has no right to sell a product, which is associated with his Christian beliefs, which appeals to like-minded individuals. . .if you feel correct in applying grossly disparate standards, regarding the free market system, as it exists in our country, all dependent upon whether or not you admire, respect or like the merchant. . .it is you, dirtydog, who is in possession of a one-way ticket to Hell. A very appropriate name for a very warped and demented individual.

    1. Commercials torment thine kids. It’s hard for thee to flip against the Kix.
    2. Man shall not live by bread alone. Buy my product.
    3. I’m scooping out the batter where the blueberries of wrath are stored.
    4. …eat ye pancakes which are good, and let your soul delight itself in fatness. Isaiah 55:2
    5. International House of the Lord’s Pancakes
    6. Daughter Jemima’s Pancakes.
  12. ” . If we elect the other side, I mean they’ve come out against God . . . I think maybe Trump is here to give us time to get ready, because all hell is going to break loose . . . ”

    Apparently, among the highest callings of the Christian faith are lying to your followers, reneging on you business deals and abusing women.

    That is not news, but thanks, Jim, for the confirmation.

    1. Never let it be said I have no pride of authorship. The b is a typo. I stand by my observation.

    1. David Benson – you had no problem with the contrail penis, why would you have a problem with a man trying to rehab himself? If JT put it here, it is worthy of the blog. 🙂

            1. David – I do everything from my email, so I do not see the WordPress site. In this case, I have no idea what sentence you are speaking of. I hate to ask, but could you please restate my sentence for me?

              1. Paul said, “David Benson – you had no problem with the contrail penis, why would you have a problem with a man trying to rehab himself?”

                Dr. Benson said, “The antecedent in your conditional statement, first off.”

                The antecedent in the material implication is–“[If] you had no problem with the contrail penis . . .”

                The consequent should be restated as “then you ought not to have a problem with a man trying to rehab himself.”

                The valid argument forms are affirming the antecedent [Modus Ponens] and denying the consequent [Modus Tollens].

                However, it seems likely that Dr. Benson rejects the entire material implication.

                1. Or an alternative conditional:

                  If the contrail penis is worthy of a legal blog, then Bakker’s pancakes ought to be worthy of a legal blog.

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