Speak No Evil

Submitted by Mark Esposito, Guest Blogger

Here’s a great legal war-story from U.S. District Court Judge Alan Johnson (via lawhaha.com) that needs no commentary:

“A very-veteran criminal defendant was about to be tried in federal court in Wyoming on bank fraud charges. The allegation was that, while in the county lockup on an unrelated stolen-vehicle charge, he had used the jail phone to call a local bank and, posing as a prominent wealthy individual, persuaded the bank to deliver a cashier’s check for $10,000 to the jail for the ostensible purpose of bonding out the man’s “nephew” (the nephew’s name, of course, being the defendant’s own).
Continue reading “Speak No Evil”

Township Addresses Cock Crisis: Pullets Protected

Submitted by Mark Esposito, Guest Blogger

Things must be awfully slow around the “Bored” Room of Hopewell Township (NJ) governing committee.  An ordinance to limit chicken mating has caused quite a bit of clucking among the locals. Now the legislation has finally become law after three hours of emotional debate by the Town Committee.  Twelve fearless citizens approached the rostrum and spoke both for and against the legislation. The law, as passed, would limit rooster contact with hens to just 10 days a year and would require them to prove they’re disease-free.  A definite turn-off in the fowl world we live in.

Continue reading “Township Addresses Cock Crisis: Pullets Protected”

Torture is still Torture, and it is Still Illegal.

Submitted by Lawrence Rafferty,(rafflaw), Guest Blogger

 This entire week the torture enthusiasts have been back on all of the news channels exclaiming their happiness that their “enhanced interrogation techniques” worked.  Of course, they are talking about waterboarding and other methods of torture. Why are Michael Mukasey, John Yoo and other members of the George W. Bush administration once again declaring that torture is good policy and that it was successful in helping to get Osama Bin Laden? Continue reading “Torture is still Torture, and it is Still Illegal.”

Cops Break Saggin’ Sophomore’s Arm and Taser Him

-Submitted by David Drumm (Nal), Guest Blogger

Two Derby, Kansas police officers, acting as school resource officers, ordered Jonathan Villarreal, 17, to pull his pants above his waist. Jonathan was walking with friends to the bus after school let out, and he told the officers he would wear his pants how he wanted. According to Jonathan, one of the officers pulled him to the ground and both officers kneed him in the back and neck. During the struggle, Jonathan’s arm was broken and he was tased.

Continue reading “Cops Break Saggin’ Sophomore’s Arm and Taser Him”

Florida House Approves Use of Human Waste To Treat Crops For Human Consumption

Some Chinese may be steaming eggs in urine but Florida is about to grow its crops in such waste. After a heavy lobbying effort by industry, Florida is about to rescind a ban on the use of human waste to treat crops. Soon more than 90 companies will be pumping waste from about 100,000 septic tanks on to their fields — an estimated 40 million gallons treated with lime.
Continue reading “Florida House Approves Use of Human Waste To Treat Crops For Human Consumption”

Texas Teacher Suspended For Allegedly Taunting Muslim Girl About Death of Her “Uncle” Osama Bin Laden

In another example of the depths of anti-Muslim sentiment in this country, a Texas high school teacher has been placed on administrative allegedly telling a 9th grade Muslim girl in his algebra class “I heard about your uncle’s death” and “I bet that you’re grieving” the death of Osama bin Laden.
Continue reading “Texas Teacher Suspended For Allegedly Taunting Muslim Girl About Death of Her “Uncle” Osama Bin Laden”

No Yolk: Boy Eggs in China Rely on Real Boys

After reading this on Reddit, I had to share but you may want to get through your breakfast first. I have been repeatedly to China and have had some exotic foods (including hundred-year-old eggs) but I have never run into tong zi dan (童子蛋), or “Boy Egg.” Known also as “Virgin Eggs,” the eggs are the official food of Dongyang, China and are made by steaming them in the urine of young boys.
Continue reading “No Yolk: Boy Eggs in China Rely on Real Boys”

Fatty Spinach or Leafy Pork? Japanese Scientists Successfully Implant Spinach Genes Into Pig

Next time your spouse tells you to put down those pork rinds, you may soon be able to say “I’m just get my vegetables.” Scientists in Japan have successfully implanted Spinach in a pig for the first time to produce a healthier pig. While the industry may be able to drop the slogan “pork, the other white meat” for “pork, the other vegetable.”
Continue reading “Fatty Spinach or Leafy Pork? Japanese Scientists Successfully Implant Spinach Genes Into Pig”

New Mexico Man Arrested For Moving From a Dumpster To Homeless Shelter Without Prior Notice To Police

In Albuquerque, Charles Mader has been arrested for moving from his domicile without notifying police under sex offender registration rules. That is not particularly newsworthy until you consider that his previous address was an industrial dumpster. That’s right, police arrested Mader for moving out of the dumpster and into a homeless shelter.
Continue reading “New Mexico Man Arrested For Moving From a Dumpster To Homeless Shelter Without Prior Notice To Police”

Felony Franks Sues City Over Misdemeanor Message

One would hardly relish the position of Jim Andrews, owner of Felony Franks on the Near West Side of Chicago. Andrews is suing after city officials refused to allow him to hang his sign as offensive. He has named not just the city by 2nd Ward Alderman Bob Fioretti (2nd) for what he claims is a denial of his free speech. He may have a point.
Continue reading “Felony Franks Sues City Over Misdemeanor Message”

Lunatic Fringe No More: You Are Not Paranoid, Those Black Helicopters Are Real

For years, they have tried to tell you. People have been covering their heads with aluminum foil and closing their shades out of fear of the super-secret black helicopters hovering unseen or unheard over their homes. It turns out they are real, according to reports following the raid on the Bin Laden compound.

Continue reading “Lunatic Fringe No More: You Are Not Paranoid, Those Black Helicopters Are Real”