eurocuptrophy80mm2008Well, the results are in and weeks of defamatory attacks on our opposing bloggers and the unrestrained use of the politics of personal destruction have paid off: the Turley blog was voted the Number One law professor blog and legal theory blog in the annual survey of the American Bar Association’s survey. Earlier, it was selected as one of the top 100 legal blogs overall. That is not bad for a blog that is only roughly a year old and it is entirely due to our regulars at the cyber bar we called the Turley blog. Your overindulgence, obsessive compulsiveness, and general lack of restraint have made us what we are today, a group of dysfunctional miscreants. But we are now the Number One dysfunctional miscreants in our category. Well done Team Turley (if I may be so bold). Not to overplay the victory, but this is the first key step to total blogosphere domination and eventual control of the time space continuum.

Here is the finishing line up:

1. JonathanTurley.org
2. Mirror of Justice
3. TaxProf Blog
4. Professor Bainbridge
5. The Faculty Blog (University of Chicago)
6. The Feminist Law Professors
7. The Becker-Posner Blog
8. Balkinization
9. Concurring Opinions
10. ACS Blog
10. PrawfsBlog
12. The Conglomerate
13. The Lessig Blog
14. Law School Innovation
15. Empirical Legal Studies

Now for my victory speech:

“Fans, for the past two weeks you have been reading about the [the survey]. Yet today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of this earth. I have been in [teaching for over] seventeen years and have never received anything but kindness and encouragement from you fans.

“Look at these grand men. Which of you wouldn’t consider it the highlight of his career just to associate with them for even one day? Sure, I’m lucky. Who wouldn’t consider it an honor to have known Mespo? Rafflaw, Patty C, Mike Spindell, FFLEO, Jill, Buddha is Laughing, WayneBro, Bob, Vince, Sally, Seamus, Sherry, RCampbell, Gyges, Mojo, MASkeptic, jonolan, BuelahMan, C.Everett Kook, LindyLou, Mike Appleton, . . . Sure, I’m lucky.

“When the Giants, a team you would give your right arm to beat, and vice versa, sends you a gift – that’s something. When everybody down to the groundskeepers and those boys in white coats remember you with trophies – that’s something. When you have a wonderful mother-in-law who takes sides with you in squabbles with her own daughter – that’s something. When you have a father and a mother who work all their lives so you can have an education and build your body – it’s a blessing. When you have a wife who has been a tower of strength and shown more courage than you dreamed existed – that’s the finest I know.

“So I close in saying that I may have had a tough [blog], but I have an awful lot to live for.”


  1. Congratulations Prof. Turley! Your blog is great and this award is well deserved. As a former student I read along every day and pretend that I’m still in your class.

    Alas, my only regret is that my 2,000 votes for you weren’t counted! (From the ABA Journal Weekly Newsletter: “Because any online poll can be subject to subterfuge, we instituted a series of checks behind the scenes to make sure only legitimate votes were counted. For a handful of blogs, multiple votes were cast from the same computer in quick succession. Some of those votes came from blog owners, but others were coming fast and furious from computers overseas that were apparently unconnected to the blogs for which they were voting. After voting closed on Jan. 2, we stripped those bogus votes out of the totals.”)

    Oops! Who knew they would figure that out? Consider me an overzealous fan!

  2. Gravitas? Cruise? What?

    No, no, no. Only one American actor working today has the right to use the label gravitas and use it legitimately:

    Morgan Freeman

    ‘Nuff said.

  3. And Congratulations! As Bob,Esq alluded to – your margin of victory sets a new standard for space-time continuum breaches. Well done, Prof. Turley!

  4. I’m surprised to see that no one else caught JT’s typo – Mr. Cruise is not the Generalissimo of Gravity, but the Generalissimo of Gravitas!

    And y’all have entirely too … questionable lives to have generated all this banter on a weekend!

  5. However, my plan for world domination is precisely to guarantee that I do not have to dance at mandatory events.

    brilliant subterfuge

    If you’re in search of vice-dictator or something, I have a few things I would like to get out of doing as well.

    I’ve been vetted

    1. Yes, we shall make them all bunny hop to our tune (maniacal laugh here). If I were Barry Manilow, I would be assuming a new identity about now.

  6. JT,

    Here’s a good role model for someone aspiring to world domination. It’s from a sendup of the Hemingway mythos (also celebrity in general) called: I Killed Hemingway by William Henderson.

    “You’re saying Ernest Hemingway was–what, a magician? A warlock? It fits. He was drawn to expert knowledge…Black magic was just one more step along the line he lived on. It started with eating bull balls and drinking hero bloood. One thing leads to another and before you know it you meet a vampire. You experiment a little. And presto–you’re on th other side of the wall, you’re an undead. Cuba is full of that kind of power.”

  7. Hello Chris,

    I was hoping you would design a castle capable of interdimensional travel. Please put giant fire sconces in it like Stargate does with all their alien ships. I don’t care what the building code says, if you’re going through a wormhole you want to have fire sconces.

  8. For all the regulars, here is an interesting interview that will let you get to know brother Chris Turley.

  9. JT:
    Well Augustus had Marcus Vitruvius to handle his architecture and write the first book on the topic. Judging by his website, Chris seems a worthy successor. Let the commission for the throne room begin, and remember what the French say, “You can judge an [empire] by its statutes and public buildings.”

    Only one question though without a dance floor in the throne room where will those young ladies do the Dance of the Seven Veils ? You really can’t have an empire without that. Maybe holograms will work!

  10. Prof.Turley,
    A little hair of the dog this morning?? Wine and breakfast are a great comination. Enjoy the moment.

  11. For the regulars, that Chris Turley is indeed my brother, who (like my late father) is an architect in Chicago. However, my plan for world domination is precisely to guarantee that I do not have to dance at mandatory events. It is already 11 am, so (as always) a bottle of wine is already open at my house.

  12. After knowing you as long as I have, I tremble at your world domination comment. Do aspiring dictators ever actually say that out loud?

    In any case, congats. Open some wine, dance with your wife, and enjoy this accomplishment – you deserve it.

    Everyone else: lets not wait. Let’s get the reconciliation trials setup now.

  13. mespo727272 1, January 3, 2009 at 4:41 pm

    For BigFella:

    ‘…The heck with that. Let the cyber party begin!!…’



  14. Brandon: Rachel and Keith told us to hold a secret poll and…well…you won. I realize this news will probably make you too ashamed to be seen here at the blog again but hey..you won

    Rachel and Keith are actually Wilbur and Eliza

  15. Gyges,

    Love Story is right up there with Barry Manilow. Please, have mercy, stop the insipidness!!!

Comments are closed.