Pope Nixes Halloween

200px-BentoXVI-30-100520071008344Note to self: have kids skip the Vatican this Halloween. Pope Benedict XVI has joined Kimberly Daniels at the Christian Broadcasting Network in issuing his own warning against Christians participating in Halloween. The Pope wants Catholics to know that the holiday is dangerous to not just their waistline but their eternal souls.

The Vatican has issued a statement denouncing Halloween as “anti-Christian” and “dangerous.”

In an article entitled ‘The Dangerous Messages of Halloween’, the Vatican’s official newspaper, L’Osservatore Romano, lays out the soul-sucking dangers of the holiday. Liturgical expert Joan Maria Canals warns “Halloween has an undercurrent of occultism and is absolutely anti-Christian.”

Canals suggests that parents “be aware of this and try to direct the meaning of the feast towards wholesomeness and beauty rather than terror, fear and death.”

The church is suggesting a nice distraction for the kids like a mass or prayer vigil. I may give that a try Saturday night and suggest it with the kids, but if you do not see any postings on Sunday morning, you will know why.

Of course, there is still some room for dress up at such masses:


For the story, click here.

48 thoughts on “Pope Nixes Halloween”

  1. Dear Pope,

    Have you considered replacing the communion wafer with a Chocolate Jesus?

  2. “Can I be beatified now?”


    They didst beatifieth me, even though I didst beateth offeth.

  3. Whoever posted under the name of Michael Bloomberg cannot even get his or her analogies correct. Bloomberg does not own the Times, but he does own Bloomberg TV and related operations worth at least a billion dollar.

    If Bloomberg TV put out a broadside against Halloween, you can be that Michael Bloomberg would be held responsible.

    NY Daily News: “Mayor to Trick or Treaters: Drop Dead!”

  4. Pope:

    “All you Catholics, Bill, Meg, Mark, as well as you, Michael, get one thing straight. I run this church, not you, not the bishops or cardinals, not the laity — just me. If you don’t like it, go be an Anglican or something.”


    After reading your post I am, at long last, prepared to concede your infallibility. Can I be beatified now? LOL

  5. Mike, you don’t own the Times. I own my paper. I can fire the board and the editors.

    The Jesuits publish a weekly called America, a Catholic version of New Republic or National Review. It is like Commonweal, except that priests, not laymen, run it.

    Independent voice? Editorial freedom? Ha! A few years ago, I decided I did not like the editor, and I had his Jesuit ass fired. Go look it up.

    All you Catholics, Bill, Meg, Mark, as well as you, Michael, get one thing straight. I run this church, not you, not the bishops or cardinals, not the laity — just me. If you don’t like it, go be an Anglican or something. I have read that 30 million Americans are now ex-Catholics, about ten percent of the entire population. I do not care. Let them go. I know I am right. I am well aware that there are a lot of ex-Catholics reading and posting at this very site. Beware – I know who you are.

    Nice thing I found since I became Pope. Everyone laughs at my jokes. Did you hear this one? Protestants don’t recognize the Pope, the Pope doesn’t recognize the Protestants, Baptists don’t recognize each other at the liquor store on Friday night, and Catholics don’t recognize each other buying condoms in drugstore on Saturday night.

    That one always kills in the Sistine Chapel.

    It is nice being infallible, but it is too bad I am not infallible all the time, just when speaking ex cathedra on matters of faith and morals, and only twice so far, in 1854 on Immaculate Conception, and 1950, on Assumption of Mary into Heaven.

    I sometimes wish that 95% of my followers did not disregard my teachings on contraception, but even I can’t send them all to Hell. Yet.

    And I still hate Halloween. I ordered that no one give any treats to the costumed imps and devils last night. You know what the little pagan tricksters did?

    They TP’d Saint Peters!

  6. Saying that the something printed in the L’Osservatore Romano is an “official statement (or worse … ‘proclamation’)” by “the Pope” or even “the Catholic Church” is about as logical as saying:

    “The mayor BANNED the H1N1 vaccine in NYC!!! That f*ing scum!!!”
    … when the New York Times prints an editorial questioning the safety of vaccines.

  7. It is “the official voice of the Vatican,” and you had better believe it, Mark. Maybe you should take out a subscription.

    BTW, just when would the paper have last disagreed with me?

    “The Cathedral Foundation

    “L’Osservatore Romano

    “Keep your fingers on the pulse of papal news, views and events with L’Osservatore Romano, the official voice of the Vatican.

    “L’Osservatore Romano is the leading and most authoritative and comprehensive source for papal writings and activities. No newspaper in the world delivers the messages of the Holy Father directly to you.

    “As your connection to the Holy See, L’Osservatore Romano:

    * Provides a colorful, informative, weekly newspaper
    * Gives immediate access to papal statements, apostolic letters and encyclicals
    * Is a wonderful pastoral development resource
    * Is the same (English or Spanish language) edition of “L’Osservatore Romano printed in Rome, delivered directly to you every week via U.S. Mail

    “Special Web Offer
    “New subscribers in the United States can purchase L’Osservatore Romano for just $109 a year (also available on CD). Additional subscriptions make great gifts! Back issues are available in limited quantities.”


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