The Boss’s Burger: Florida Man Arrested For Burger Battery

Port St. Lucie, Florida has another AWDS case (assault with a deadly sandwich). Previously, we saw how Matthew Rubin was arrested for throwing a sandwich at his girlfriend, here. Yet, cold-cut sandwiches are widely known by police to be gateway food to hotter items like pizzas and burritos. Now, Daniel Boss, 25, has been arrested for rubbing a hamburger in the face of his wife. The incident appropriately occurred at one of Daniel’s favorite restaurants, Dick’s.

Boss was arguing with his wife when she poured soda on his hamburger, which he shoved in her face and began throwing food. She went to the police station to report the culinary attack. Next time they may want to try exchanging nice condiments with one another.

Boss was then arrested on a misdemeanor domestic battery charge, though it is not clear if the Dick’s burger was preserved as evidence in the case.

We have already seen that this is not the proper presentation for a hamburger, here, and Boss is unlucky he did not hear from its agent.

However, it is important to also take time to thank the people of Port St. Lucie for what has been a series of blog entries from that fair city, here, here, and here.

Of course, he can claim that he was practicing for the community college theater performance of Public Enemy:

Kudos: Christine W!

12 thoughts on “The Boss’s Burger: Florida Man Arrested For Burger Battery”

  1. Nice catch, Bob. Damn. I must be losing my movie chops to have missed that one!

  2. AY,

    Self-defense or the (conditional) defense of others. Those are the only two times for violence between people and even then restraint is required. For example: It could (note the verb choice – can’t use a verb certain as I did not witness the attack) have been appropriate for Tiger to lay hands on his wife to take the golf club from her. It would not have been acceptable for him to beat the crap out of her under most every circumstance. The exception being an extreme circumstances like she was actively trying to kill him (or somebody else) and then it’s The Law of the Jungle in effect – one may counter lethal force with lethal force and it not be unethical in the slightest. It’s called survival. The law recognizes these exceptions in the forms of justifiable homicide and necessity in the defense of others (however the jurisdiction defines the exceptions, terminology may vary) as valid defenses to the charges of murder or manslaughter.

    This guy? He doesn’t meet these exceptions by a long shot.

  3. when its really runny it not all that funny unless its happening to some dummy.

  4. rafflaw,

    The statements I agree with. However, there are exceptions to every rule of law so you might like to know if an exception exists for hitting ones spouse regardless of which one does it. I am not condoning any such activity. However, some things do happen that we all do not have control over. And in some instances the cops are called when a Divorce should be had. Or a separation should occur. Someone is just trying to gain an upper hand in a Domestic case.

    My original post was going to be much more humorous, however, I think the point of the police being involved in a domestic disturbance such as this is over kill. Why did she pour soda on his burger? Granted Port St. Lucie is in Florida. Not all Florida residents are bad folks. Granted the Bush Brotha’s did a deal on both states.

  5. You couldn’t make this stuff up it is so wild. What a neanderthal. This guy needs to be in jail. I cannot stomach or put up with wife beaters. They need a special place in jail for these cowards. Is it the time of year or is it just too hot in Florida these days? I wonder if this guy is a Tea Bagger?

  6. Hmm, a Dickburger in the face. Is that a felony or misdemeanor in the Sunshine State??

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