Frozen Water or Snowpocalypse? Washington Descends Into Panic With Approaching Storm

This is getting a bit out of control, folks. I know that I am a Chicago native with a snow attitude but people in this town are doing everything short of sacrificing their young to please the Snow God.

I just came back from the store where people seem to be preparing for the final judgment. One woman had two carts (which she was pushing and pulling) filled with toilet paper and water. I wanted to do an intervention and mention the likely possibility of spring.

If you turn on the radio, it is filled with assurances that radio stations will remain active throughout the “coming emergency.” Not only that, police are reporting an increase in auto accidents — BEFORE A FIRST SNOW FLAKE HAS FALLEN. I am waiting for conservative members of Congress to demand snowboarding meteorologists to force them to tell us the whole truth and when we can expect warm weather.

I am looking out the window at the first flakes now falling. My kids are watching cartoons and all is well. I have not even begun to look at the kids as foodstuffs if we run low on food. For those regulars in the area, the Turley blog will remain active through “the coming emergency” though the host is likely to begin consumption of Bloody Marys in . . . five, four, three, two . . .

93 thoughts on “Frozen Water or Snowpocalypse? Washington Descends Into Panic With Approaching Storm”

  1. Elaine M.,

    I bet he leaves one or two out. And the logistics of getting Thomas correct. Oh, wait. I have rethought this. Its not a problem. If you look from the inside out.

  2. Thanks, EC. Those snow sculptures of bulidings do look amazing–especially when lit up.

    Maybe Professor Turley and his progeny will sculpt the nine Supreme Court justices from all the snow that’s fallen on their property. Just a thought.

  3. EC,

    They had me at Snow Leopard, but the buildings? Simply WOW! Beautiful.

  4. While all you DCers are out with your shovels, here’s an idea:


  5. AY,

    Unless the Yeti got to all the wine.

    And it has been my experience that “partee” is a state of mind.

    “There’s a party in my mind and I hope it never stops.” – The Talking Heads

    Not just good music, but good advice.

  6. ECookie,

    It is actually Montezuma’s talking with the Aztec God of rain Tlaloc.

    I simply do not understand why Pat Robertson has not decreed the debauchery yet. Until he tells me why it happening I will have to question everyone’s motives. NOT

  7. Prof.,

    I hope your power is restored soon. The Yeti may be getting thirsty.

  8. “By starving emotions we become humorless, rigid and stereotyped; by repressing them we become literal, reformatory and holier-than-thou; encouraged, they perfume life; discouraged, they poison it” – Joseph Collins

    “I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious – unless he purposely shut the eyes of his mind and keep them shut by force” – Mark Twain

  9. Oh wouldn’t you know it – turns out Teh Gays are responsible for all this:

    “Despite the impending catastrophes, the vast majority of Americans are ignoring the warning signs and the desperate need for this nation to return to God. In Washington D. C., the city council is pressing into the demands of corrupt city politicians who are determined to force homosexual marriages on the nation’s capitol. Washington D. C. is also suffering its worst winter storms in the city’s history.” – Crazy Ex-gay multiple felon James Hartline, who blames both an offshore northern California earthquake and today’s DC blizzard on gay marriage.

  10. Cry me a snow drift, guys. I am a lowly postal worker and will be out in this stuff all day…delivering to people who will put mail out for pick up, but won’t even think about clearing the steps so I can get to the box.

    I’ll survive, I’ve been through it several times before. It’s just that te older I get the more I dread it. Especially since 80% of deliveries will be nothing but crap. Retirement can’t come soon enough.

  11. I see on the news they say D.C has (4) ft snow drifts in some places,Be careful Professor.

    Here in Jersey the Sothern end of the state is gettig hit but further north its like nothing is happening for now any way.

    This is I think the third storm that they forecast here where they said we would get hit hard and nothing like the weatherman/woman said it would happened.

    I fear that one day we may get hit real hard and the people will say the weather person lied the last few times and don’t prepare and really get hit hard with a storm.

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