The Miracle of The Goldfish

By Mark Esposito, Guest Blogger

bildeIt appears the Almighty is up to His tricks again. After appearing on treesbird poop, and causing several statues to cry, the new medium of divine communication is now the ubiquitous pacifier of  toddlers, the humble Goldfish cracker. Patti Burke, from Melbourne, Fla, was the lucky recipient this time, opening her package of the Pepperidge Farm product to find a circled cross and crown on one of the brightly colored orange fish. Patty was overjoyed at the find and the timing:

“When I picked this one up, I knew he was special,” the Melbourne woman said of her Holy Week discovery. “He had a cross on him, and he had a crown circle up by his head. Something I’ve never seen before out of all the Goldfish I’ve eaten.”

Leaping into authentication mode, Ms. Burke called the company that is a subsidiary of the Campbell’s Soup Company. “I called Pepperidge Farm and said, ‘Hey, do you have some special promotion going on, I think I’ve got the lucky fish,’” she said. “They called me back and said there’s no way this could have been printed like that in the factory. … They said it sounds like something miraculous happened and we don’t know how it happened.”

There you have it, confirmation of the miracle by the highest temporal  authority of all, the Fortune 500.

Impressed but not convinced, Patty continued on her amateur thaumaturgist bent by consulting with a pro — D. Scott Worth, pastor of  the Presbyterian Church of the Good Shepherd, who just days before had talked about fish as a symbol of Christianity in front of the congregation. Pastor Worth removed any doubt of human intervention proclaiming, “Maybe it’s because we are people that buy into the ‘big fish’ story of Jesus’ resurrection,” he remembered suggesting in his Sunday sermon. “…Big fish story from the standpoint of it’s hard to follow … Jesus’ closest disciples all didn’t believe it at first, because it’s so fantastic and life changing.”

“Big fish story”? Disciples didn’t believe it? Was the pastor tongue-in-cheek?

Regardless, Patty is ecstatic.

“I believe that it’s a sign, a sign from God, that … he is still in our life every day and he wants to show that to his people. And it’s something that happened right here at Easter. After talking with Pastor Scott I know that what all the cross means. It’s eternal life with the circle around the cross.”

Patty is not sure what she wants to do with the relic, keeping it for the time being in an earring box. She tried developing photographs of the icon but none came out after a trip through the development bath at the local Walgreens.

While the revelation appears pure poppycock to this skeptical mind, it does have all the sweetness of wonder that makes Patty and her faith so appealing to many. It also has the merit of contradicting Reverend Pat Robertson, who thinks all miracles happen in Africa these days. Take that you sanctimonious exclusivist,  you!

And to quote that theologian of the age, Sheryl Crow, ” If it makes you happy, it can’t be that bad.”

Source: Florida

~Mark Esposito, Guest Blogger

46 thoughts on “The Miracle of The Goldfish”

  1. Bron, religion is fine, a very personal thing, and can be a comfort to many. However, when it starts manifesting itself in Pepperidge Farm Goldfish, it might be time to reconsider one’s beliefs and start to consider the line between belief and delusion.

  2. Threatened by religion? You wonder why. Hundreds of years wasted and millions of people have been killed because of religion. I don’t care what people believe unless that belief makes them think that they must control other people’s beliefs, other people’s bodies and dictate public policy while forcing me to pay for their fundamentalism.

    Believers should be very concerned about other believers who would set up theocracies based on a chosen religion because believe it or not it might not be yours!

    Do I care if some person sees a cross on a gold fish, No. Do I care if that same person wants to legislate that her belief in that cross and that gold fish must also be mine, Yes.

  3. Interesting find Mark.

    Trivialization can be a form of denial.

    In this case the person is saying that everthing is so under control by the big guy in the sky that every once in awhile she is reminded in the tiniest of ways.

  4. Bron,
    Take it easy. It is a story about a lady believing a cracker is a signal from the almighty. She can believe whatever she wants to, but it is still a cracker to those of us who may not believe what she believes.
    Great story Mespo!

  5. Bron,
    Wow, all this depth of thought, over a cracker?
    This cracker symbolizes all that’s wrong with the world, today.
    Better just eat the damned thing.
    Atheists/agnostics are threatened by religion because it can’t keep its filthy little fingers out of government.
    Stupidity (absolute de nile of fact) is the biggest impediment facing life on earth. It’s the world’s leading religion.

  6. why are atheists/agnostics so threatened by religion?

    In the grand scheme of things, this woman believing her cracker is a sign from God isnt going to change anyone’s life except hers and hopefully for the better.

    The only small minds are those who cant live and let live, the busy bodies like Bloomberg and Clinton who think they know better. Maybe belief in God and of rights stemming from nature/God is competition to those who believe rights come from government?

  7. Darren,

    This isn’t Yeaster Sunday.

    Mike Spindell
    “…nothing spreads the “Word” faster than a deformed cracker.”

    Quote of the week… LOL

    PTL…(pass the loot)

  8. OS,

    I would think that, as a forensic psychologist, you would be in a unique position to expand upon your comment on this phenomenon. Inquiring minds want to know. 🙂

  9. P Smith.

    I thought of the injector making the + sign also, but then I realized after watching a video on the manufacturing process it involves “Holy Rollers”

  10. Blauw –

    It looks more like an indentation, the hole in the mold were the dough was poured in before it was baked. It’s about as significant as the flaking pieces of cracker that form between halves of the mold (in the picture, between the bottom of the body and the tail).

    Hers is the sort of simplemindedness and blissful ignorance that Pat Robertson was praising the other day. He called the wilful gullibility of the less educated “holy”. Holey is more like it, especially her head.

  11. The Lord works in mysterious ways his wonders to perform. This could be the harbinger of “The Second Coming” because nothing spreads the “Word” faster than a deformed cracker.

  12. Lessee now. So far we have toast, cup of latte, a grape, a jelly bean, a dumpling, a shrimp prawn, the foil on a bottle of cider, and mold growing under a bridge. Just to name a few. Yep, miracles are not limited to Africa. And when they put them up on eBay and sell them for a nice chunk of change, once again it is proof that Barnum was right.

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