In a major decision, Attorney General Eric Holder has announced that he has found that the Justice Department has acted improperly in barring any criminal investigation of well-documented war crimes committed by the Bush Administration in the torture program. To punish the failure of the Department to act in a timely fashion, he has announced that no criminal charges will be pursued regarding torture to teach prosecutors a lesson that “justice delayed is justice denied.”
On April 1, 2009, Holder held a press conference in which he was angry over the failure over Acting Associate Attorney General Daniel Marcus and Lanny Breuer, head of the Criminal Division, to even investigate the commission of war crimes despite a public record of the crime.
“I am simply perplexed by what these prosecutors were waiting for. These are crimes committed and discussed virtually in front of the Justice Department building. The International Red Cross found that this was torture. Bush officials admitted that it was torture. Interrogators said it was torture. Both the President and I have said waterboarding is torture. Well, folks, torture is not just a crime, it is a well-defined war crime. Now, we have Spain investigating crimes that we failed to investigate. The failure of Messrs. Marcus and Breuer to act shows the very type of political pressure that corrupted the Justice Department under my predecessors.”
Holder announced that he will now let Spain enforce these laws to teach prosecutors a lesson — much as he did with the Stevens case. Holder noted “I’m no fool. I promised the Senate that I would no longer engage in political acts like those I was accused of committing while a member of the Clinton Administration. The failure of these officials to act in the face of confirmed crimes is intolerable and makes me look like a political hack.” In a bow to the Spaniards, Holder noted that “the fact is that the Spanish legal system is much older than the United States and they have had more experience dealing with waterboarding since the Inquisition and war crimes since the Spanish Civil War.”
Holder indicated that his policy of punishing the Justice Department by barring investigations or prosecutions against criminals will be a continuing tool for discipline of his administration. Holder noted that it is sometimes necessary to “do good by doing nothing” and that he will not hesitate to punish his department in a similar fashion in the future in these highly politicized cases. “I am not some April Fool,” he insisted, “despite the views of many.”
For a full explanation of this story, click here.
BTW, Happy April Fool’s day, everyone.
This is hillarious:
the SAME prosecutors that insisted that Senator Stevens leaving some gifts off his reports were evidence of a major crime ARE NOW saying the small amount of these gifts means that the Prosecutors were NOT acting in bad faith by withholding information they had on these gifts!!!
UNBELIEVABLE! ONLY IN LIBERAL LAND!
When & how does Senator Stevens get his respect and Senate seat back.
Senator Stevens was set up by pig crap liberals.
WOW!
Collin Powell on Rachael Maddow tonight pretty well blew all the torture accusations right back in her face!
Among other revelations, Powell indicated meetings he attended were 1) documented and 2) all in a format that ensured no violations of law occurred.
TOO BAD LEFTYS!
You could just see Rachael’s face drop and hear her cry out for (overweight) boy hero Jon Turley!
Lawyers! I was had. I bounced over to doj looking for the press release. Read the last line as incidental.
Good one JT- I almost destroyed my keyboard with coffee spray. I wasn’t surprised by your last line, I was waiting for it but I gotta’ tell ya’, the political arena is so bizarre these days I was really, REALLY waiting for that last line. And at one point kind’a optimistic that we could just deport these scum to Spain for trial 😉
“I am not some April Fool,” he insisted, “despite the views of many.”>>
The Attorney General doth protest too much, methinks.
There otta be a law against this kind of April Fool’s!
At first glance I was worried that Holder had sold out entirely. Thank goodness it is just an April Fools Prank!
Props to JT!
Please explain mr. phd…
Told You So.
Here is what tipped me off, although my blood pressure was a’risin’ while I was reading Prof Turley’s article. Earlier this morning I read about Holder’s recommendation regarding the Stevens case. I immediately thought—and before I read JT’s article—that Holder might have done this to deflect dissension from any of his future decisions to appoint a special prosecutor for investigations of war crimes. Given Prof Turley’s extraordinary wit and intelligence, he reversed that ‘logic’ to having Holder asking for vacating both Stevens’ conviction and any future war crime investigations. I just knew that both of these “decisions” on the same day could not be plausible.
I sure am pleased that Prof Turley is extremely busy with his lawyering, professorship, commentary, and all of his other myriad tasks because if not, further such exhibitions of his brilliant and sometimes deceptive wit—that others often misinterpret—might cause heart problems and anger throughout the free world.
BTW, how in the world does Turley find the time to write this blawg?! Surely, he has a ghostwriter, although that seems illogical since how could there be more than 2 humans with such quick wit, intelligence, and inexhaustible talents?
mespo,
I agree. I read that post headline and I didn’t have any problem with thinking Holder would say exactly that. It really does say something about how far he’s sunk. Rereading Holder’s quote in David Cole’s NY Review article yesterday, I wonder what happen to this man. Here’s the quote:
“Here’s what Eric Holder, whom Obama will nominate as attorney general, said several months ago: {written on Jan. 2009}
Our government authorized the use of torture, approved of secret electronic surveillance against American citizens, secretly detained American citizens without due process of law, denied the writ of habeas corpus to hundreds of accused enemy combatants and authorized the procedures that violate both international law and the United States Constitution…. We owe the American people a reckoning.”
A delicious piece of irony by JT, that at the same time raised a legal question and no doubt is bedeviling his classes if he is teaching today.
Duh.
That we were so easily fooled says something about Holder.
FFLEO,
That’s what’s fun about April fools! This one worries me because it will give Holder “ideas”! It’s really not far off the mark in any way and that’s saying something.
“…and makes me look like a political hack.”
***************
It certainly does. I do appreciate the irony is hogtying the DOJ from doing its job, when doing its job would correct the abuses,and also punish the guilty. So why not prevent it from doing its job, and let the guilty go free. Perfect logic wouldn’t you agree.
Folks,
I learned when I first started visting this fine blawg, be certain to click on all of the embedded blue links, especially the the one marked ( here )at the end of Professor Turley’s big STORY.
Man, and after I made a pledge to myself to not get duped today it’s already happened so many times…