Body Heat: English City To Draw Heat From Crematoriums

The Hastings Borough Council in East Sussex has found the ultimately reusable energy source: people. It is the energy version of Soylent Green. The city will be drawing heat from the burning of bodies from crematoriums.

The plan will require a £800,000 refit to the crematoriums. It will ultimately not just be used for heat but electricity, so that you can work out on that treadmill while being powered by Uncle Fred. If the idea of being turned into a human briquette is not appealing, consider the discount you can receive by leaving your body not to science but to your power company. After all, when you call yourself the “power people,” you are perfectly set up for the transition from fossil fuels to cce, cadaver combustible energy.

Where is Charlton Heston when you need him?

For the full story, click here.

23 thoughts on “Body Heat: English City To Draw Heat From Crematoriums”

  1. I’m thinking they like nothing but for me to do as I’m told. As in feed, pet, clean box, repeat. On their schedule. They are cats after all. That they are spoiled has absolutely every, er, nothing to do with it either.

    That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

  2. wHAT do the cats have to say about that? I know the dogs could give a sh . . . as long as they get a pat on the head and 2 squares a day.

  3. Although, if I wanted them both buried with me, I guess I could go Egyptian. But a pyramid seems a bit excessive and I just don’t think Ramses Is Laughing has the right ring to it.

Comments are closed.