Body Heat: English City To Draw Heat From Crematoriums

The Hastings Borough Council in East Sussex has found the ultimately reusable energy source: people. It is the energy version of Soylent Green. The city will be drawing heat from the burning of bodies from crematoriums.

The plan will require a £800,000 refit to the crematoriums. It will ultimately not just be used for heat but electricity, so that you can work out on that treadmill while being powered by Uncle Fred. If the idea of being turned into a human briquette is not appealing, consider the discount you can receive by leaving your body not to science but to your power company. After all, when you call yourself the “power people,” you are perfectly set up for the transition from fossil fuels to cce, cadaver combustible energy.

Where is Charlton Heston when you need him?

For the full story, click here.

23 thoughts on “Body Heat: English City To Draw Heat From Crematoriums”

  1. Buddha:

    you would need a dog at your feet, cats dont count. At least not with Vikings.

    Would Wayne do the honors?

  2. I was feeling amiss at missing the “White Heat” film reference Bob caught on another thread, so to make myself feel better, I present more English people being set on fire.


  3. I’ll have to admit I’m not much on the raping and pillaging. Maybe a Viking Lite funeral. Instead of a pyre on my ship, put me on a rubber raft and shoot bottle rockets at it. I’m easy to please. Especially when I’m dead.

  4. Dogonehitall, my post was lost and I caint remember what I writ. Anyway, ‘The Vikings’ soundtrack that is playing during the funeral and continuing through the end credits prompted me as a young lad in 1959 to take an even greater interest in music than before—much to the chagrin and ribbin’ of my football teammates.

    The best part of the main theme song is when a Viking is playing it through the huge horn at 4:05 with the Viking ship sailing through a real-life fjord when Ragnar returns from the usual everyday Vikin’ rape, killin’ and plunderin’.

    One scene early in the movie—amongst others—was pretty risqué for 1959 and complemented my National Geographic magazines as prepubescent erotic entertainment.

  5. BIL–

    I’m not sure you’d qualify for a Viking funeral–unless, of course, you’ve done some raping and pillaging in your lifetime.

    I’ll check with Kirk Douglas and Tony Curtis.


  6. Elaine,

    Personally I’ve wanted a Viking funeral ever since seeing the Blake Edwards movie “S.O.B.” as a kid. Those guys knew how to party.

  7. In the US we call em: “death panel”, in the UK, they’re called “energy drinks”! Either way, it’s the govt. using grandma to save some money.

  8. Buddha is Laughing


    You have truly lost your collective mind.

    (Buddha rolls up his dog beating newspaper.)

    Bad country! Get under the porch! BAD BAD COUNTRY!


    LOL! Thanks, that made my day.

  9. I’m from England and will usually defend the Country no matter what. Sometimes these ridiculous County Councils just go too far though, almost makes me nervous about heading home in a couple of weeks.

  10. Overheard at a funeral home in England: “I know you’re sad, son, but look at it this way–Grandma’s goin’ green and she’ll keep us warm tonight.”

    That’s one interesting crematory story.

  11. England!

    You have truly lost your collective mind.

    (Buddha rolls up his dog beating newspaper.)

    Bad country! Get under the porch! BAD BAD COUNTRY!

    You know, the CCD’s and the ridiculous laws were enough to discourage traveling to England.

    Congratulations on sealing the deal.

  12. And people in power are really doing this? From the emotional response, it is repulsive. From the practical stand point really whats the difference. If this one come from the dead back we really do have the potential for a pissed off poltergeist. Imagine the scene from Ghost Busters and Gargoyles coming to life……creepy….

  13. It really is Soylent Green heat! This is one “renewable” energy source that I didn’t think of. It is also a sick idea.

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