A Reddit contributor spotted this perfectly Orwellian message on the sign for the New Canaan Baptist Church.
“From where Winston stood it was just possible to read, picked out on its white face in elegant lettering, the three slogans of the Party:
WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH.”
Byron–
I don’t want nuttin’ to do with derivatives!
The odds against an atheist getting into heaven are 666 to 1. That’s what my Bible bookmaker told me.
Elaine:
Can we bet on the Rapture? Is there an over/under. what are the odds?
Maybe a better indicator would be to have Rapture Investment Portfolio or R. I. P. The market value of the RIP would indicate probability of rapture. I will have to work out puts and calls and derivatives.
To non-believers:
The Rapture awaits.
Soon I’ll be standing at the Pearly Gates.
You unrepentant sinners’ll face tribulation–
But I’ll be entering the heavenly nation!
**********
Check out this site:
Rapture Ready
http://www.raptureready.com/
The Rapture Index
The Rapture Index has two functions: one is to factor together a number of related end time components into a cohesive indicator, and the other is to standardize those components to eliminate the wide variance that currently exists with prophecy reporting.
The Rapture Index is by no means meant to predict the rapture, however, the index is designed to measure the type of activity that could act as a precursor to the rapture.
You could say the Rapture index is a Dow Jones Industrial Average of end time activity, but I think it would be better if you viewed it as prophetic speedometer. The higher the number, the faster we’re moving towards the occurrence of pre-tribulation rapture.
Rapture Index of 100 and Below: Slow prophetic activity
Rapture Index of 100 to 130: Moderate prophetic activity
Rapture Index of 130 to 160: Heavy prophetic activity
Rapture Index above 160: Fasten your seat belts
http://www.raptureready.com/rap2.html
**********
BIL and Others—
Make Thyself Ready for the Rapture
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yaoHHW_qoT8&hl=en_US&fs=1&]
Elaine,
Oh my but that is a treasure!
The only sign missing from the montage was this one:
We’re Saved!
The rest of you are on your own.
BIL–
Looks like Hell for many of the regulars then. I’m done in for certain and its curtains for the Mikes. mespo was pulled off stage by a shepherd’s hook. Elaine is tormenting the staff with puns. Slarti and Alhazen are having a cage match with Bob and Kant. The winner gets their pictures taken with Newton, Einstein and Bohr. Byron is busily trying to convince a waiter that unregulated markets don’t lead to abuses. Jesus, the free thinking Pharisee rabbi, is steadily slapping him in the back of the head, saying with each smack “money changers”.
***************
Along with Newton, Einstein, and Bohr–don’t forget to include Charles Darwin–the “evilution” guy.
At least I’ll be in good company! That’s the most important thing about where one’s spends eternity. That is–if one believes in an afterlife.
Here’s a video with more church signs:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2b8JOmsRgW8&hl=en_US&fs=1&]
Buddha,
I am not calling anyone specifically Satan. I took this course as an elective called linguistics. Yes, an elective. I thought I was going to pull a Whitman on Campus but the Union saved me from pure contempt for the class.
Ah, UT Austin Seven Bars on Campus. Seven across the street. Seven down the street. Seven over there and Seven here. So all was well. LOL.
How long ago was that and yes your right about the ruling junta in DC.
Supposedly Baptists believe in slavation as a function of “free will” (hence, all the “Free Will Baptist” named churches–they’re kind of the “St. Johns” of the Baptist world). While Catholicism with its Prada-clad pope, sclerotic bureaucracy, and pedophile priests is easy to mock, Protestantism has never cultivate much sense of humor.
ABC,
So you are taking an adversarial point of view from mine. You must be then…..
Take it back to the root origin and I guess I too am guilty. I have been adverse to many an ideals:
Satan [ˈseɪtən] n
(Christianity / Ecclesiastical Terms) the devil, adversary of God, and tempter of mankind: sometimes identified with Lucifer (Luke 4:5-8)
[Old English, from Late Latin, from Greek, from Hebrew: plotter, from sātan to plot against]
In Greek: satana 15, satanan 4, satanav 17
Definition:
1) adversary (one who opposes another in purpose or act), the name given to
1a) the prince of evil spirits, the inveterate adversary of
God and Christ
1a1) he incites apostasy from God and to sin
1a2) circumventing men by his wiles
1a3) the worshippers of idols are said to be under his control
1a4) by his demons he is able to take possession of men and
inflict them with diseases
1a5) by God’s assistance he is overcome
1a6) on Christ’s return from heaven he will be bound with chains
for a thousand years, but when the thousand years are
finished he will walk the earth in yet greater power, but
shortly after will be given over to eternal punishment
1b) a Satan-like man
Bdaman:
My son was a waiter a Hoopers Crab House in Ocean City, MD for 2 summers. He made about $600 per week after taxes and the other expenses you talked about. He only worked about 25 hours per week and he did not get all the good shifts or tables.
A good waiter at a good restaurant can make a decent living. Assuming of course that the ruling junta in DC doesn’t kill the economy.
AY,
By that logic, I might BE Satan. Or is that Stan? I get so confused until I’ve finished my coffee.
I think … that I do not believe in Satan.
The waiters that wait on me make 20%.
Thats gross not net. They then have to contribute to tip share for busboys and hostesses. Then must claim at least all of their credit card tips. They then have to compare the percentage of sales against the tip $ base all while they earn $3.30 as an hourly wage.
Correct me if I am wrong. But do not people who think outside the box cause controversy for that wish to dominate and control? If you don’t go along you you are adverse to the purpose of the one trying to control therefore you are Satan=Adverse to the other one. Free Thinking is Adverse to Organized Religion. So your master must be Satan.
Buddha:
The waiters that wait on me make 20%, I bet they love free markets, at least they wouldn’t bad mouth them for about 90 minutes 🙂
Sheeit, even satan aint my master. A free thinker has no master.
So the sign doesnt even make sense. The reverend must have mush for brains.
We are the people. Therefore we are stuck by adversity so we are doing Satan’s work. Originally, this term was used as a title for various entities that challenged the religious faith of humans in the Hebrew Bible.
I suppose that anyone whom thinks outside of the box and others are better for it are Satan in the flesh…..
Well then.
Looks like Hell for many of the regulars then. I’m done in for certain and its curtains for the Mikes. mespo was pulled off stage by a shepherd’s hook. Elaine is tormenting the staff with puns. Slarti and Alhazen are having a cage match with Bob and Kant. The winner gets their pictures taken with Newton, Einstein and Bohr. Byron is busily trying to convince a waiter that unregulated markets don’t lead to abuses. Jesus, the free thinking Pharisee rabbi, is steadily slapping him in the back of the head, saying with each smack “money changers”.
The scenery is beautiful. Wish you were here.
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers, will have our own section of tables at the Devil’s Debauchery Diner-Dancehall & Debate Club. It’ll be an easy party to spot, but remember! The first rule of debate club is you don’t talk about debate club. There will be an open bar but the kitchen is closed. It is Hell after all and not so nice. It’s hot, but it’s a dry heat. Ya’ll from the New Canaan Church just swing on by when you arrive.
We’ll leave a burning witch on for you.
It’s a long dark road out of the 14th Century.
Seems to be a trend. Who are these people?