Month: November 2010

Prostitution May Become Legal This Saturday in Ontario

To the delight of civil libertarians and libertarians alike, the Canadian courts have been leading the world in dealing with conflicts between privacy principles and morality legislation. I am serving as an expert in the review of Canadian polygamy laws in British Columbia. In the meantime, the Ontario Superior Court may allow three prostitution laws to die this Saturday.
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Cedric the Entertainer: Anti-Facebook Preacher Admits To Orgies and Infidelity With Church Members

Rev. Cedric Miller is best known as the pastor who ordered his flock to discontinue their Facebook accounts because they are avenues for sin and a “portal to infidelity.” It turns out Miller didn’t really need a portal . . . he didn’t have to leave the church for infidelity. Miller has admitted to having sexual relations with a church assistant, his assistant’s wife, and Miller’s wife — sometimes at the same time. Miller warned last week that Facebook could ruin your marriage. Who needs Facebook?
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Murder or Mayhem: The Life and Death of Skeeter

Police in Lakeland, Florida have a classic whodunit on their hands after finding the corpse of a local named Skeeter under a motor home. Polly Boykin, 52, was arrested for the death of the cat but has claimed “self defense” in shooting Skeeter. A court will have to decide whether Skeeter was the hunter or the hunted.
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Woman Leaves Former Husband for Another Man Ten Years Ago and Then Returns to Sue Him For Millions in Lottery Wins — And Succeeds

Nigel Page, 44, can tell you about the meaning of adding insult to injury. Ten years ago, Wendy Page, 43, left Nigel for another man. She would have nothing to do with him until he suddenly changed in her eyes: after she saw him on television winning the £56million Euromillions jackpot lottery. She proceeded to call a lawyer and demand £8 million. When Nigel offered to put £2 million in a trust for their daughter, she reportedly balked and demanded the money for herself as well as an increase in child support. She succeeded in an out-of-court settlement. She will receive £2 million from the man she left for another man (who lacks a winning lottery ticket). The reason is a loophole in English divorce law that should be closed.
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Would You Like Possession With That Popcorn? Catholic Exorcist Blames Harry Potter With Spate of Demonic Possessions

The latest Harry Potter movie is greeted by movie theaters as a record blockbuster and kids as the long-waited sequel. For one person, however, it is the start of the new season of demonic possessions. Father Thomas J. Euteneuer explained in an interview this week that Harry Potter has opened the gates of Hell for millions and triggered a spate of possessions that keep him busy.

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Doing an Ed Rooney: New York Principal Charged With Trespass in Showing Up At Home of Two Boys Who Failed To Appear At School

There is an interesting case out of Chester, New York where Chester Academy Principal Ernest Jackson has been charged with criminal trespass after he followed the lead of the character of Ed Rooney in the movie “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” and went to the house of two kids who did not show up at school. Unlike the movie, he has been charged and suspended.
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Bee Keeper Allegedly Shoots Himself After Setting Up Snare Gun For Honey-Loving Bear

John Frost allegedly bagged himself in setting up a snare gun to shoot a bear in Loveland, Colorado. The bear had recently knocked over Frost’s beehive and stolen some of his honey. Police believe Frost set up a shotgun with a tripwire and then tripped the wire.

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Biden: The Kiddies in Kandahar Are Getting Soooo Big

The Afghan leaders have been struggling to throw off the impression that they are merely lackeys to the American government or worse. Vice President Joe Biden did not exactly help that image by describing them on Larry King as like children to the American parentage. Biden told Larry King “Daddy is going to start to take the training wheels off in October — I mean in next July, so you’d better practice riding.” That should go over well with the kiddies in Kandahar.
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Bar Medical Clinic Shutdown: “Doctor” Has a Lot To Get Off Chest

Kristina Ross, 37, is the kind of person city officials love to hate. Determined, driven, and passionate about her desire to do something good for women’s bodies in spite of  red tape, Ross now sits in a Boise, Idaho jail for undertaking a task usually reserved for men in their twenty’s. Ross, it seems, has taken the health care crisis into her own hands and decided to bring medical exams to the masses. The only problem is that her impromptu breast exams in local bars were not sanctioned by the Idaho Department of Health which has this archaic requirement that healthcare professionals actually be licensed to do what they do. As a result Ross is charged with two Continue reading “Bar Medical Clinic Shutdown: “Doctor” Has a Lot To Get Off Chest”

America’s Other 9/11: Ferguson and the Shot Not Heard ‘Round The World

Mention 9/11 and we are instantly catapulted into the past with keen memories of where we were and what we were doing. It is a monumental day in American history, both for its infamy and for the honor on display in the response. So too, was another September 11, 1777.

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Crime & Punishment: Cross-Dressing Criminal Meets His Maker!

I’m in Orlando attending the annual convention of the National Council of Teachers of English. I was a presenter at two sessions on Friday. I was so busy for several days preparing for my presentations that I didn’t have time to research stories and write-up posts about them for the Turley Blawg this weekend. I decided to dust off an old case that I found in my Fairy Tale Crimebusters File. It’s a tale of a horrible crime against humanity committed by a dastardly lupine villain who enjoyed preying on Homo sapiens of all ages. Fortunately, the two crime victims in this case were rescued and the gluttonous perpetrator of the evil deed was swiftly—and capitally—punished.

In the Case of Little Red Riding Hood:
A wily wolf waited in the wood.
He coaxed sweet Red to pick wildflowers,
Then sneaked away and GULP! devoured
Dear old Granny, jumped in bed
With Granny’s bonnet on his head.
 

 

 

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