Category: Animals

Lab Monkeys Escape Japanese Facility By Using Branches to Catapult Over Electric Fence

A group of 15 monkeys at Kyoto University’s primate research institute escaped from a high-security research center by learning how to use tree limbs to catapult themselves over a 17ft high electric fence. One of them was named Dr. Zaius. Ok, I made that last part up but it is clear that our monkey overlords are gathering.

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Carp Czar: Durbin Asks Obama For A New Position To Take On the Asian Carp

U.S. Sen. Dick Durbin (D., IL) is calling for yet another czar in an already czar-heavy administration. This appointee might feel a bit insecure and self-conscious around the Afghanistan Czar, Border Czar, and Car Czar. He would be the Carp Czar tasked with tackling the influx of Asian carp in Lake Michigan. The greatest challenge will be to keep from confusing the Carp Czar and the Tarp Czar (Herb Allison).
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