A Reddit contributor spotted this perfectly Orwellian message on the sign for the New Canaan Baptist Church.
“From where Winston stood it was just possible to read, picked out on its white face in elegant lettering, the three slogans of the Party:
WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH.”
Seems to be a trend. Who are these people?
Well then.
Looks like Hell for many of the regulars then. I’m done in for certain and its curtains for the Mikes. mespo was pulled off stage by a shepherd’s hook. Elaine is tormenting the staff with puns. Slarti and Alhazen are having a cage match with Bob and Kant. The winner gets their pictures taken with Newton, Einstein and Bohr. Byron is busily trying to convince a waiter that unregulated markets don’t lead to abuses. Jesus, the free thinking Pharisee rabbi, is steadily slapping him in the back of the head, saying with each smack “money changers”.
The scenery is beautiful. Wish you were here.
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers, will have our own section of tables at the Devil’s Debauchery Diner-Dancehall & Debate Club. It’ll be an easy party to spot, but remember! The first rule of debate club is you don’t talk about debate club. There will be an open bar but the kitchen is closed. It is Hell after all and not so nice. It’s hot, but it’s a dry heat. Ya’ll from the New Canaan Church just swing on by when you arrive.
We’ll leave a burning witch on for you.
It’s a long dark road out of the 14th Century.
We are the people. Therefore we are stuck by adversity so we are doing Satan’s work. Originally, this term was used as a title for various entities that challenged the religious faith of humans in the Hebrew Bible.
I suppose that anyone whom thinks outside of the box and others are better for it are Satan in the flesh…..
Sheeit, even satan aint my master. A free thinker has no master.
So the sign doesnt even make sense. The reverend must have mush for brains.
Buddha:
The waiters that wait on me make 20%, I bet they love free markets, at least they wouldn’t bad mouth them for about 90 minutes
Correct me if I am wrong. But do not people who think outside the box cause controversy for that wish to dominate and control? If you don’t go along you you are adverse to the purpose of the one trying to control therefore you are Satan=Adverse to the other one. Free Thinking is Adverse to Organized Religion. So your master must be Satan.
The waiters that wait on me make 20%.
Thats gross not net. They then have to contribute to tip share for busboys and hostesses. Then must claim at least all of their credit card tips. They then have to compare the percentage of sales against the tip $ base all while they earn $3.30 as an hourly wage.
I think … that I do not believe in Satan.
AY,
By that logic, I might BE Satan. Or is that Stan? I get so confused until I’ve finished my coffee.
Bdaman:
My son was a waiter a Hoopers Crab House in Ocean City, MD for 2 summers. He made about $600 per week after taxes and the other expenses you talked about. He only worked about 25 hours per week and he did not get all the good shifts or tables.
A good waiter at a good restaurant can make a decent living. Assuming of course that the ruling junta in DC doesn’t kill the economy.
Take it back to the root origin and I guess I too am guilty. I have been adverse to many an ideals:
Satan [ˈseɪtən] n
(Christianity / Ecclesiastical Terms) the devil, adversary of God, and tempter of mankind: sometimes identified with Lucifer (Luke 4:5-8)
[Old English, from Late Latin, from Greek, from Hebrew: plotter, from sātan to plot against]
In Greek: satana 15, satanan 4, satanav 17
Definition:
1) adversary (one who opposes another in purpose or act), the name given to
1a) the prince of evil spirits, the inveterate adversary of
God and Christ
1a1) he incites apostasy from God and to sin
1a2) circumventing men by his wiles
1a3) the worshippers of idols are said to be under his control
1a4) by his demons he is able to take possession of men and
inflict them with diseases
1a5) by God’s assistance he is overcome
1a6) on Christ’s return from heaven he will be bound with chains
for a thousand years, but when the thousand years are
finished he will walk the earth in yet greater power, but
shortly after will be given over to eternal punishment
1b) a Satan-like man
ABC,
So you are taking an adversarial point of view from mine. You must be then…..
Supposedly Baptists believe in slavation as a function of “free will” (hence, all the “Free Will Baptist” named churches–they’re kind of the “St. Johns” of the Baptist world). While Catholicism with its Prada-clad pope, sclerotic bureaucracy, and pedophile priests is easy to mock, Protestantism has never cultivate much sense of humor.
How long ago was that and yes your right about the ruling junta in DC.
Buddha,
I am not calling anyone specifically Satan. I took this course as an elective called linguistics. Yes, an elective. I thought I was going to pull a Whitman on Campus but the Union saved me from pure contempt for the class.
Ah, UT Austin Seven Bars on Campus. Seven across the street. Seven down the street. Seven over there and Seven here. So all was well. LOL.
BIL–
Looks like Hell for many of the regulars then. I’m done in for certain and its curtains for the Mikes. mespo was pulled off stage by a shepherd’s hook. Elaine is tormenting the staff with puns. Slarti and Alhazen are having a cage match with Bob and Kant. The winner gets their pictures taken with Newton, Einstein and Bohr. Byron is busily trying to convince a waiter that unregulated markets don’t lead to abuses. Jesus, the free thinking Pharisee rabbi, is steadily slapping him in the back of the head, saying with each smack “money changers”.
***************
Along with Newton, Einstein, and Bohr–don’t forget to include Charles Darwin–the “evilution” guy.
At least I’ll be in good company! That’s the most important thing about where one’s spends eternity. That is–if one believes in an afterlife.
Here’s a video with more church signs:
Elaine,
Oh my but that is a treasure!
The only sign missing from the montage was this one:
We’re Saved!
The rest of you are on your own.
To non-believers:
The Rapture awaits.
Soon I’ll be standing at the Pearly Gates.
You unrepentant sinners’ll face tribulation–
But I’ll be entering the heavenly nation!
**********
Check out this site:
Rapture Ready
http://www.raptureready.com/
The Rapture Index
The Rapture Index has two functions: one is to factor together a number of related end time components into a cohesive indicator, and the other is to standardize those components to eliminate the wide variance that currently exists with prophecy reporting.
The Rapture Index is by no means meant to predict the rapture, however, the index is designed to measure the type of activity that could act as a precursor to the rapture.
You could say the Rapture index is a Dow Jones Industrial Average of end time activity, but I think it would be better if you viewed it as prophetic speedometer. The higher the number, the faster we’re moving towards the occurrence of pre-tribulation rapture.
Rapture Index of 100 and Below: Slow prophetic activity
Rapture Index of 100 to 130: Moderate prophetic activity
Rapture Index of 130 to 160: Heavy prophetic activity
Rapture Index above 160: Fasten your seat belts
http://www.raptureready.com/rap2.html
**********
BIL and Others—
Make Thyself Ready for the Rapture
Elaine:
Can we bet on the Rapture? Is there an over/under. what are the odds?
Maybe a better indicator would be to have Rapture Investment Portfolio or R. I. P. The market value of the RIP would indicate probability of rapture. I will have to work out puts and calls and derivatives.
Byron–
I don’t want nuttin’ to do with derivatives!
The odds against an atheist getting into heaven are 666 to 1. That’s what my Bible bookmaker told me.
I remember a sermon title I saw advertised years ago, “An Open Mind Leads to Brainwashing”.
I love this blog!
I’ve got my hand basket; may I please come too!
“Gideon”
Gideon, what have you told us at all?
Make a sound, come down off the wall
Religion should appeal to hearts of the young
Who are you? What have you become?
Animal, come on, what does this remind you of?
Truly, Truly we have become
Hated and feared for something we don’t want
Listen, listen
Most of us believe that this is wrong!
A free thinker is Satan’s slave? I want to be the slave of fundamentalist religion, darn it. Like blondes, automatons have more fun, and the pay is better and the accommodations .. well they are just fantastic. Ask my other slaves: Falwell (dearly departed); Robertson; Swaggart; Haggard; and the list just never ends.
While I respect Buddha’s right to express his opinion, I strongly protest my inclusion in his pantheon of condemned free thinkers. I assure you that I am quite capable of being as thoughtless as the next person.
Just a few lost souls swimming in a fish bowl… Meet you all in hell
Mike A,
I bear to you this humble apology for thoughtlessly including you in a list of free thinkers.
A most egregious transgression.
BIL–
“Elaine is tormenting the staff with puns.”
Did you mean Satan’s staff–the hellfire and brimstone bunch who fan the fires down below with their sulfurous emissions?
Yeah, I’ll make ‘em groan! I know how to inflict PUNishment.
laughing
too hard
to type!
Buddha,
I am sure….
Wait, I’m confused. Is this a pro-Palin political stance by the church?
No I think they just forgot a word. It is supposed to read “A Free Republic thinker is Satan’s slave”. It’s just a typo, of sorts.
Bound for hell, as well. See you all there. Looking forward to the good company.
- A semi-regular
A couple of years ago I saw a sign by a conservative megachurch in Michigan that said, “The Bible is All the Constitution We Need”
No thinking, no laws, just blind obedience to those who say they speak for God ….
generate your own church sign:
http://www.says-it.com/churchsigns/
Elaine,
Just remember my motto: The only bad pun is the one I didn’t think up first.
BIL,
I had a rant ready about the thoughtless inclusion of myself in the group, until I saw I wasn’t included, so now I have to write a whole new one about being thoughtlessly excluded.
“Find\Replace” is a great feature.
For all ye godless folks:
Top 15 Atheist Billboards
Wait . . . where are we going and why are we in this handbasket? – handcart for you purists.
Seriously, what the hell would Satan want with free thinkers? Nothing but trouble if you ask me. That would be a divine punishment for him, stuck for all eternity with people who think for themselves and won’t mindlessly follow his commands.
one last old joke:
Jesus saves!
Moses grabs the rebound in the slot, he shoots HE SCORES!
Yikes, even more bad news about the workings of the Devil:
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/faith/article7056689.ece
And this from an expert!!
OK; lets be clear on whose the real Satan here; I AM! Unfortunately most people dont admit or understand there is a little of Satan in them too. I contend its the X gene in All Men=Xy and Women=XX. But I bet this preacher would rather kill himself by falling on his own sword than ever admit:
1) he was defeated by a woman,
2) he was wrong for bearing false witness against Satan.
3) he made all that stuff up so folks wouldnt know he didnt know that Jesus Christ put the “Burden” of Satan upon us. g about by
4) that GOD would send Satan back as the queen of the South to judge men like him for their idle words.
First of all, I do want to say that ultimately, no matter if you believe the bible for it sole purpose, believe in God, or if you are just an atheist, no matter what anyone believes that you should or should not believe, we all have to place faith where faith goes, and place our knowledge where knowledge goes. It is my own personal belief in God, and some credible things said in the bible, but the truth of the matter is, that the bible does not get you into heaven, the only way that you get there from my belief is having your personal relationship with God. The bible is a great tool for moral guidance, but is also the cornerstone of the most relentless wars known throughout history. The fact of the matter is that depending on how you look at your beliefs, the book may be inspired by God, but it tells us in the bible that Satan is the father of all lies. It gives descriptions of heaven, but very select few references to hell. The truth is that if you were to place your faith in the bible, would it really be a stretch to know that the authors of the book could not have been influenced by satan to murder in the name of God, or even admit the well known fact that the bible does not really detail every instance of sin or acceptance within it’s pages. We must also consider the fact that ultimately, if you believe in God, then you must also take a look at life as we live it as well. My personal belief is that God is a god of rational thinking and logic. I think the miracles that happened in the stories of the bible, may in fact, have a logic to them, but we have not learned the secret to it yet. Look at the world as we know it today, if we showed up in biblioal times in a car, with a cell phone, they would consider it sorcery, because they would not be able to explain the functions of such a device. We often find the worst in each other, not because of God or Satan, but because we want to take stories that are written, and argue the authenticity, when we really lose the most important lessons that not only come from the 10 commandments, but from all the older religions which are really in turn, lessons for moral living anyway. The best way that you can live is really to find your own beliefs and really try to grasp the difference between right and wrong. If you do something with malicious intent, and you have a conscience, surely your heart will let you know when you have made a mistake. In closing, God made us all different, we have different thoughts and beliefs all over the world, so at the very least, let us celebrate our gift of life knowing that we can all teach and learn something new from each other, no matter if we are religious or not.
Also, it is my own personal belief that the church while in good intentions to educate about the bible, fails to really put in perspective, it’s church members. How many times do you know of, that the preacher asked for imput of scripture he is preaching on. Shouldn’t the imput of everyone be just as valid as the lesson prepared. If you have a topic of discussion, that is fine, but just because you have been ordained to preach does not mean that you understand everything to it’s entire potential. We all have different interpretations to the bible or any other piece of literature for that matter, and the only one who ordained you to preach is another person. I think it is time to realize by now, that the church is not a place of worship, but a foundation of unified beliefs, taught and instilled in the minds, but frowned on if you question anything that comes from the pages of the bible. The only way that we can truly grow as humans, and at least in my case, as christian like people, is to question and seek answers. What I know about most preachers is that they are quick to quote the bible for an answer to a seemingly hard question, but never consider the humanistic portions of the human life cycles. The bible is a great tool, but the mind is a better one. Without the mind, we would not have survived as long as we have. We should, if we choose to believe in God, praise and worship him in our own right, but also understand that we were given the brains to learn and educate to complete the cycles of physical and spiritual living as well.