Previously, we saw that going to the potty too long is a security risk if you are Muslim or of Middle Eastern descent or appearance. Now, going too many times is a security risk. A passenger on U.S. Airways from Fort Lauderdale to Denver was pulled off a plane after passengers reported that he went to the bathroom too often during the flight. It turned out he had to go to the bathroom a lot.
Continue reading “Small Bladder, Short Flight: Passenger Pulled Off Flight For Excessive Potty Breaks”
Category: Bizarre
Professor Richard Quinn of University of Central Florida delivered this lecture after discovering that at least one-third of the class had cheated on a midterm exam.
Continue reading “Professor Confronts Cheaters At University of Central Florida”
You know those high-level negotiations with the Taliban in Afghanistan that have been touted by both the Afghan and U.S. governments? Well, it turns out that they are not so high level. In fact, the negotiator may not be with the Taliban at all. The man with whom we have been negotiated as “Mullah Akhtar Muhammad Mansour,” one of the most senior commanders in the Taliban movement, turns out to be a nutter from Pakistan who probably could not believe everyone was negotiating with him to design the new Afghanistan. To make this FUBAR complete, one Western official admits “we gave him a lot of money.”
Continue reading “Fubar in Kandahar: Afghan and American Officials Discover That They Have Been Negotiating With Imposter for Months”
To the delight of civil libertarians and libertarians alike, the Canadian courts have been leading the world in dealing with conflicts between privacy principles and morality legislation. I am serving as an expert in the review of Canadian polygamy laws in British Columbia. In the meantime, the Ontario Superior Court may allow three prostitution laws to die this Saturday.
Continue reading “Prostitution May Become Legal This Saturday in Ontario”
Rev. Cedric Miller is best known as the pastor who ordered his flock to discontinue their Facebook accounts because they are avenues for sin and a “portal to infidelity.” It turns out Miller didn’t really need a portal . . . he didn’t have to leave the church for infidelity. Miller has admitted to having sexual relations with a church assistant, his assistant’s wife, and Miller’s wife — sometimes at the same time. Miller warned last week that Facebook could ruin your marriage. Who needs Facebook?
Continue reading “Cedric the Entertainer: Anti-Facebook Preacher Admits To Orgies and Infidelity With Church Members”
Police in Lakeland, Florida have a classic whodunit on their hands after finding the corpse of a local named Skeeter under a motor home. Polly Boykin, 52, was arrested for the death of the cat but has claimed “self defense” in shooting Skeeter. A court will have to decide whether Skeeter was the hunter or the hunted.
Continue reading “Murder or Mayhem: The Life and Death of Skeeter”
Nigel Page, 44, can tell you about the meaning of adding insult to injury. Ten years ago, Wendy Page, 43, left Nigel for another man. She would have nothing to do with him until he suddenly changed in her eyes: after she saw him on television winning the £56million Euromillions jackpot lottery. She proceeded to call a lawyer and demand £8 million. When Nigel offered to put £2 million in a trust for their daughter, she reportedly balked and demanded the money for herself as well as an increase in child support. She succeeded in an out-of-court settlement. She will receive £2 million from the man she left for another man (who lacks a winning lottery ticket). The reason is a loophole in English divorce law that should be closed.
Continue reading “Woman Leaves Former Husband for Another Man Ten Years Ago and Then Returns to Sue Him For Millions in Lottery Wins — And Succeeds”
The latest Harry Potter movie is greeted by movie theaters as a record blockbuster and kids as the long-waited sequel. For one person, however, it is the start of the new season of demonic possessions. Father Thomas J. Euteneuer explained in an interview this week that Harry Potter has opened the gates of Hell for millions and triggered a spate of possessions that keep him busy.
There is an interesting case out of Chester, New York where Chester Academy Principal Ernest Jackson has been charged with criminal trespass after he followed the lead of the character of Ed Rooney in the movie “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” and went to the house of two kids who did not show up at school. Unlike the movie, he has been charged and suspended.
Continue reading “Doing an Ed Rooney: New York Principal Charged With Trespass in Showing Up At Home of Two Boys Who Failed To Appear At School”
John Frost allegedly bagged himself in setting up a snare gun to shoot a bear in Loveland, Colorado. The bear had recently knocked over Frost’s beehive and stolen some of his honey. Police believe Frost set up a shotgun with a tripwire and then tripped the wire.
The Afghan leaders have been struggling to throw off the impression that they are merely lackeys to the American government or worse. Vice President Joe Biden did not exactly help that image by describing them on Larry King as like children to the American parentage. Biden told Larry King “Daddy is going to start to take the training wheels off in October — I mean in next July, so you’d better practice riding.” That should go over well with the kiddies in Kandahar.
Continue reading “Biden: The Kiddies in Kandahar Are Getting Soooo Big”
Kristina Ross, 37, is the kind of person city officials love to hate. Determined, driven, and passionate about her desire to do something good for women’s bodies in spite of red tape, Ross now sits in a Boise, Idaho jail for undertaking a task usually reserved for men in their twenty’s. Ross, it seems, has taken the health care crisis into her own hands and decided to bring medical exams to the masses. The only problem is that her impromptu breast exams in local bars were not sanctioned by the Idaho Department of Health which has this archaic requirement that healthcare professionals actually be licensed to do what they do. As a result Ross is charged with two Continue reading “Bar Medical Clinic Shutdown: “Doctor” Has a Lot To Get Off Chest”
A Florida dance troupe is learning the cultural ways of the Big Apple after they ditched their cars in the Lincoln Tunnel and dashed away on foot wearing camo. Seems our tiny dancers were late for a TV appearance on BET’s “106 & Park” show. Those lovers of dance, the Port Authority police and the FBI-NYPD Joint Terrorism Task Force gave chase. The Tunnel was shut-down for 45 minutes during rush hour. Even with the rousing police escort, the dancers were late and headed back to Jacksonville still undiscovered but famous nonetheless.
Continue reading “(Below) River Dance Closes Lincoln Tunnel”
Hooters Restaurants likes to promote their orange-hotpanted waitresses with the provocative tied-up teeshirts as, “delightfully tacky yet unrefined.” The slogan might be applied to its security guards too, if a fiesty grandma gets her way. After disputing an errant appetizer on her bill from a Chicagoland Hooter’s, 54-year-old Livier Torres was manhandled by off-duty Oak Lawn Police Officer Joseph Schmidt as she tried to pay. Part-enforcer, part-social engineer (Schmidt reportedly told Torres daughter, “All you people are the same” in an apparent reference to their Mexican heritage.), the fearless crime fighter called for back-up against the marauding grandma — when a headlock and pinning her to the ground wouldn’t suffice. Despite a paucity of video Continue reading “Delightfully Tacky Yet Unrefined: Hooter’s Security Roughs Up Granny Over Bill”
There is a fascinating case out of England where an officer has been arrested on suspicion of manslaughter after a woman died following a road-rage argument. Christine Roche, 64, had a heart attack at the wheel after being confronted by the unnamed off-duty officer who was yelling at her for clipping his car mirror. The yelling reportedly induced the heart attack and led to the manslaughter charge.
Continue reading “London Police Officer Charged With Manslaughter After Yelling At Driver Caused Heart Attack”