We have filed our post-trial brief in the Senate Impeachment Trial of United States District Court Judge Thomas Porteous. The brief, linked below, presents the factual record on each of the articles of impeachment after the conclusion of the Senate trial. We are expecting final arguments to be heard in December before all 100 Senators on the Senate floor.
Continue reading “The Porteous Impeachment: Post-Trial Brief”
Indonesian Information Minister Tifatul Sembiring is in the midst of a political crisis over a handshake. Sembiring is a conservative Muslim who often blames natural disasters on a lack of morality and avoids any contact with females outside his family. Then it happened on camera. A smiling Sembiring shaking the hand of first lady Michele Obama. It is enough to send a religious nut into a fetal position. The result has been an insistence that Michele Obama was the hand aggressor — effectively grabbing his hand to his disgust and alarm. The pictures seems to belie the defense — showing a smiling Sembiring who appears to grab the First Lady’s hand.
You may want to be a bit more careful in borrowing a friend’s cellphone in the future. Mobile phones will soon be equipped with small devices to allow you to urinate or spit on their phones to diagnose sexually transmitted diseases. The devices are being developed in England for both cellphones and computers. Given my recent difficulties with Apple over my alleged submersion of my IPhone, I am a bit leery in picking up the new P-App.
Continue reading ““You Got Chamydia”: English Scientists Develop Device to Allow Cell Phone to Alert You of Sexually Transmitted Infections”
Thank God, a diet I can live with. Mark Haub, a professor of human nutrition at Kansas State University, has reported astonishing results in a novel diet that he created to show that losing weight is all about counting calories –not what you eat. To prove his point, he went on a “Twinkie Diet” where he only consumed junk food every three hours consisting of Twinkies, Hostess HoHos, Little Debbies, Oreos, Dorito chips and the like. He lost 27 pounds in two months. Around the world, rotund fans are raising their Twinkies and Debbies in salute to you, Professor Haub.
Continue reading “The Twinkie Diet: Professor Loses 27 Pounds on Junk Food Regimen”
In Massachusetts, prosecutors are dealing with a bizarre case of a man who allegedly store $83,147 to pay for his pornography habit. What makes the case even more bizarre is that the victim was the St. John the Baptist Church and the alleged felon was its pastor, Rev. Keith LeBlanc.
Continue reading “Collared: Massachusetts Priest Accused of Stealing $83,000 To Support Porn Habit”
While we have been criticizing public officials for their criminalization of baggy pants, it appears that we can now add the objection that they are assisting crime by requiring tailored outfits. Columbus police have a video showing a man who failed in a bank robbery effort when he tripped over his baggy pants.
Continue reading “Holy, Inseam, Batman! Bank Robber Foiled By Baggy Pants”
As promised, here are a few pictures and recommendations from France. One item will await a posting in our series “Things That Tick Me Off.” While October and November are part of the low tourism period, I do not know why. Paris and the French countryside are ablaze in color and the weather is mild. No lines at museums or restaurants. Forget Spring in Paris, think Fall.
Continue reading “An American in Paris”
The British Columbia Supreme Court will be some hearing testimony on the criminalization of plural unions — an extremely important case with global ramifications. As has been my practice in past cases, I wanted to confirm my involvement in the case as a court-appointed expert on the legality of such criminal laws. Weeks ago, I was retained to submit written testimony on the right of consenting adults to plural unions under United States and international law.
While heavier and a bit jet lagged, I have returned from the France. I must report that we came and we were captured. The conference in Paris was fascinating. I had some very interesting discussions on the cultural defense with American and foreign lawyers – including some pending cases in France on the issue. Of course, as in real estate, it was “location, location, location.” Paris was gorgeous with leaves in full autumnal splender. It was impossible to get a bad meal or a bad glass of wine. Trust me, we did an exhaustive survey. I just landed this morning and I will be sharing a few pictures later, but I wanted to check in today.
Continue reading “I Have Returned: Merci Beaucoup To Elaine, David, and Mark”
Brazil’s got nothing on San Francisco. Come December 1st, the City by the Bay will be without those nasty Hamburglars and the Avatar avatars. A new city ordinance requires that restaurants meet certain nutritional standards before including toys in the packaging. Ronald is not amused. “We are extremely disappointed with today’s decision. It’s not what our customers want, nor is it something they asked for,” lamented McDonald’s spokeswoman Danya Proud. The ordinance requires that toy-filled treats have “less than 600 calories, contain fruits and vegetables, and include beverages without excessive fat or sugar.” Not exactly something Grandma would frown on, by the way.
The ordinance was prompted because “fifteen percent of American children are overweight or obese — which puts them at risk of developing heart disease, diabetes and cancer, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.”
Source: Yahoo News
–Mark Esposito, Guest Blogger
Anna Del Rio has lost a daughter to crime and is now being harassed by a street gang because of her job as a dispatcher for Crime Stoppers. Think the L.A. resident is intimidated? Not Hardly. Del Rio, whose 20-year-old daughter was murdered a decade ago, awoke to find her garage door spray-painted with profanity and the numbers “187.” “187” is the police code for homicide. The gang has apparently confused working for Crime Stoppers as being the same as being a police informant. Del Rio took the job as a way to channel her grief about the loss of her daughter into something productive. In response to the vandalism, she has placed a picture of her daughter by her garage door as a makeshift memorial. Del Rio says she refuses to be intimidated by the people who vandalized her property. Police are investigating the incident.
Source: KTLA Website
— Mark Esposito, Guest Blogger
The Tea Party made lots of noise and woke the neighbors, but precious few in-roads into the political system. True, Marc Rubio and Rand Paul were big winners but each benefited from some peculiar circumstances. Rubio won in a three way race punctuated by former spurned Repub Governor Crist’s independent bid along with a Democratic challenger who won just enough to split the vote of the rational and give Rubio the nod. Rand benefited from the strong conservative sentiment in Kentucky and what Mark Twain best described this way: “When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Kentucky because it’s always twenty years behind the times.”
Other Party guests did not fair so well — even in a time of popular disenchantment with government and a bad economy. Unpopular Senator Harry Reid survived a bid from Sharon Angle of “there is no separation of church and state” fame. First Amendment scholar, former Wiccan, and Angle devotee, Christine O’Donnell, sank against Chris Coons by 18 points. Even in far off Alaska, Palin-approved candidate Joe Miller looks to be a loser in a three way race to a write-in candidate and incumbent, Lisa Murkowski.
How did that poster child for The Movement and likely 2012 Presidential candidate, Sarah Plain, do with her endorsements? Well, that sprinkling of Alaskan tea resulted in 33 loses and 27 wins. Not exactly the “Golden Touch.” All in all, the Tea Party can claim some measure of victory, but the win is less than satisfying. After the Party’s hangover, the realization will set in that “winning” requires “fixing” else-wise the fickle electorate will turn you out like yesterday’s newspaper. And that, my revolutionary friends, is the hardest tea to swallow of all.
–Mark Esposito, Guest Blogger
Just Imagine. The man who bites heads off birds and fronted for the hyper-heavy metal band, Black Sabbath, has bits of Neanderthal coursing though his veins. Ozzie Osbourne joins DNA co-discoverer James Watson and Harvard University professor Henry Louis Gates as persons having their entire genome sequenced and analyzed. Ozzie it seems has a little segment on his chromosome 10 that very likely traces back to a Neanderthal forebearer. Says the unflappable Ozzie, “”Given the swimming pools of booze I’ve guzzled over the years—not to mention all of the cocaine, morphine, sleeping pills, cough syrup, LSD, Rohypnol…you name it—there’s really no plausible medical reason why I should still be alive. Maybe my DNA could say why.” Brutish determination ,it seems, is the answer. I am taking up funds to get a similar DNA sequence done for Dick Cheney. Any ideas on his forebearers? Meanwhile here’s some Black Sabbath to tide you over:
Source: Scientific American
–Mark Esposito, Guest Blogger
Ah, the bloom is too soon off the marriage rose as far as some men are concerned! At least that’s how it would appear for Minchillo McLester who was married just three weeks ago. McLester’s wife Madison was found dead on the floor of their home. She had apparently been shot several times. McLester was taken into custody after witnesses told police that they saw a naked man walking in a nearby Atlanta park early yesterday morning.
The London-based Centre for Crime and Justice Studies is reporting on research suggesting alcohol is more dangerous to society than crack cocaine and heroin. Published in the British medical journal Lancet, a panel of experts evaluated the psychological and social problems associated with alcohol using a new scale. Alcohol received a score of 72 on a 100 scale besting the more well-known illegal culprits. Crack and Heroin were still the most dangerous drugs to individuals, however.
Irish pub owners were not impressed pointing out the study was co-authored by a Dr. Nutt, who also opined that horseback riding was more dangerous than ecstasy. Nutt rated ecstasy a “9” on his scale, by the way.
Pay no attention to this tea-totaling drivel there, JT. The Chablis Grands Cru tastes amazing while sitting along the Champs–Élysées.
Source: CNN
– Mark Esposito, Guest Blogger