Food appears to be the weapon of choice in Florida this week. A couple days ago, we saw a man who was arrested for assaulting his girlfriend with a hamburger (here). Now, Elsie Egan, 53, in Dunnellon, Florida was arrested for allegedly hitting her boyfriend Peter Schabhuttl, 49, several times in the head with a raw steak.
Continue reading “Beef, It’s What’s for Battery: Florida Woman Allegedly Attacks Boyfriend with Steak in Fight Over Bread”
Now here is a defense that you would not have seen just a couple decades ago. Sarah Fowke, 23, was stopped attempting to use someone else’s ski pass at a Colorado ski resort. Ski officials noticed that the pass was for a man named Nicholas Hemstreet and Fowke explained that she was originally a man but had completed a series of sex change operations.
Christians are now organizing a boycott against businesses that fail to wish everyone “Merry Christmas” or use that offensive greeting “Happy Holidays.” Stores are being monitored and blacklisted for just wishing everyone “Happy Holidays” instead of referencing Christmas specifically.
Some people in Asheville, North Carolina are up in arms about a man just elected to the city council. No he is not corrupt or an adulterer. Those are virtually qualifications in today’s politics. The problem is not what Cecil Bothwell is but what he is not: God-fearing. Opponents are opposing his election on the basis of a provision of the North Carolina Constitution that bars atheists from public office. One is the former head of the NAACP. It is clearly unconstitutional and would make for a wonderful (and educational) challenge for North Carolina.
We previously discussed the appearance of one of my students, S.R. Sidarth, on Jeopardy. Last night, Sidarth came in a very respectable second in a tough competition. We were all extremely proud of him . . . and blame it on Mr. Potato Head.
Continue reading “The Wrath of Mr. Potato Head: Sidarth Comes in Second on Jeopardy”
The former Missouri House Speaker and major Republican political figure Rod Jetton has been charged in an alarming series of crimes after a woman accused him of punching, choking, and assaulting her. She also appears to elude to the possibility of a date rape drug, claiming that she blacked out after drinking a glass of wine. Jetton ran for office on a family values platform.
The Hastings Borough Council in East Sussex has found the ultimately reusable energy source: people. It is the energy version of Soylent Green. The city will be drawing heat from the burning of bodies from crematoriums.
Continue reading “Body Heat: English City To Draw Heat From Crematoriums”
It is amazing how slimming runaway diarrhea can be. Unilever PLC recalling 10 million cans of its Slim-Fast ready-to-drink products in the U.S. and Canada due to the possible contamination of a bacteria that can cause serious illness.
Port St. Lucie, Florida has another AWDS case (assault with a deadly sandwich). Previously, we saw how Matthew Rubin was arrested for throwing a sandwich at his girlfriend, here. Yet, cold-cut sandwiches are widely known by police to be gateway food to hotter items like pizzas and burritos. Now, Daniel Boss, 25, has been arrested for rubbing a hamburger in the face of his wife. The incident appropriately occurred at one of Daniel’s favorite restaurants, Dick’s.
Continue reading “The Boss’s Burger: Florida Man Arrested For Burger Battery”
We recently saw how a taser was used on a ten-year-old girl who refused to take a bath in Arkansas, here. Now, police in Pueblo, Colorado have tasered a 10-year-old boy who threw a stick at an officer and was holding a pipe. Captain Jeff Teschner defended his deputies by saying that the use of pepper spray would have put the officers in danger with an unruly ten-year-old boy.
In Oldsmar, Florida, Sheila Curr is making alternative plans for Mother’s Day. Her son, Matthew Curr, 18, was arrested after he allegedly tried to run his own mother off the road.
Continue reading “Mommy Issues: Florida Man Arrested After Allegedly Trying to Run Mother Off the Road”
A Harvard professor has concluded that CNN Headline New’s rabid host, Nancy Grace, contributed to the death of a mother, Melinda Duckett, who committed suicide three years ago after being savaged by Grace.
Continue reading “Fall From Grace: Expert Finds Nancy Grace Contributed to Suicide of Mother”
Hiram Monserrate attracted statewide attention in New York as one of the Democrats who defended “traditional marriage” and “family values” in recently voting down a bill that would have made same-sex marriage legal the state. His concept of family values was questioned after he was sentenced for assaulting his girlfriend Karla Giraldo. Monserrate slashed Giraldo’s face and dragged her through the lobby of his Queens apartment building. Good old family values from the Paleolithic Period.
Continue reading “Prehistoric Family Values: Senator Who Defended Traditional Marriage Is Sentenced for Slashing Face of Girlfriend and Dragging Her Through the Apartment Lobby”
One has to love the t-shirt choice for this mugshot for Jenifer Stitzel, 34, a Christian preschool teacher arrested for having sexual contact with a 14-year-old boy on school grounds at the Central Valley Christian School in Tangent, Oregon. It all about trust.
Continue reading “Off on a Tangent: Teacher Displays Trust After Arrest for Child Molestation”
District Court Judge William Pattinson was a bit subtle but methinks he does not like this motion for venue change. The judge denied the motion after saying it was “so incredibly asinine, ill-conceived, unfounded and personally and professionally insulting that it is unworthy of any discussion or consideration.” Yikes.
Continue reading “Judge Denies Motion as “Incredibly Asinine, Ill-Conceived, Unfounded and Personally and Professionally Insulting””