The Pentagon has sent out a questionnaire for troops, including questions on how they feel about the lifting of the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell ban. The questions have been challenged as homophobic and designed to enrage the troops. The military insists that it is merely trying to gather data on the views of the troops and was not trying to trigger a backlash.
Continue reading “Pentagon Questionnaire on Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Called Homophobic”
First there was the sighting of a vampire after a crash on the roads of Colorado. Now, witnesses have come forward to report of a car of zombies who first crashed their car on Interstate 84 and then got out and walked around.
Continue reading “Zombies! Witnesses Describe Car Filled With Undead in Oregon Crash”
San Francisco’s Commission of Animal Control and Welfare has proposed a ban on the sale of any pets with the exception of fish. The new ordinance would make it unlawful to sell dogs, cats, hamsters, mice, rats, and other pets.
Continue reading “If Pets Are Criminal, Only Criminals Will Have Pets”
Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas is reportedly outraged and may be heading down to New Orleans after his nephew, Derek Thomas, was punched and tasered at a Louisiana hospital after refusing to put on a gown.
Continue reading “Justice Thomas Reportedly Outraged By Nephew Being Punched and Tasered In New Orleans”
Belgium will soon be giving people a funeral more befitting deceased goldfish than people. Undertakers are planning to dissolve dead bodies in caustic solutions and then flush them into the sewers.
If you (like me) had a certain fear of clowns as a kid, Pedro Artega Velazquez, 53, should re-ignite those fears. In the world’s most creepy mug shot, Velazquez is shown after his arrest for allegedly assaulting his teenage stepdaughter.
Continue reading “Evil Clown: Mexican Clown Arrested For Allegedly Assaulting Stepdaughter”
It appears that ever-expanding hamburgers are outstripping our physical capabilities. Dentists in Taiwan have issued a warning that giant hamburgers are causing jaw damage from over-extension. It is a short-sighted move by dentists since these burgers are likely to push humans to new evolutionary breakthroughs by favoring people who can unhinge their jaws like snakes.
Continue reading “Dentists Issue Warning Over Jaw Damage Caused By Supersized Burgers”
Ernest J. Pagels is a politician who is not just satisfied with balancing the budget. He is campaigning on a promise to “outlaw” homosexuality as well as abortion and pornography. You may think he is running for Kandahar city council on the Taliban ticket, but he is one of the candidates vying for the GOP slot to challenge Russ Feingold in the Senate.
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is struggling for reelection this year and his friends have lined up to help him. This week, Nevadans saw a series of glossy, high-priced ads for Reid paid for by his friends in the pharmaceutical industry. Reid fought to include huge benefits for drug companies in the health care bill and now the industry is running ads touting his work for “Nevada families.”
Continue reading “Just Say Yes To Drugs: Drug Lobby Pumps Money and Ads Into Nevada Race for Reid”
Patricia J. Dye, 31, has been arrested on the bizarre crime of posing as a 14-year-old boy in an effort to have relationships with underaged girls.
Continue reading “Ohio Woman Arrested For Allegedly Posing as 14-Year-Old Boy To Lure Girls Into Relationships”
Two prominent art curators in Moscow, Yury Samodurov and Andrei Yerofeyev, are facing three years in prison for showing art that insulted the Russian Orthodox Church. It is the latest example of blasphemy prosecutions, a growing trend in the West and industrialized nations.
Continue reading “Criminalizing Art: Two Prominent Art Curators Face Three Years in Jail for Offending Orthodox Church”
Police in Waterbury, Connecticut have arrested Rev. Kevin J. Gray, 64, of Sacred Heart parish for allegedly not just stealing $1.3 million from the church coffers but spending it on male escorts, hotels, and even tuition at Harvard for a male friend. He reportedly told police that he “had grown to hate being a priest” and tired of having “to fix problems made by the previous priests.” Well, now others will be fixing his little problem.
Below is today’s USA Today column on the arrest of individuals for telling obvious jokes on airplanes and at airports.
Continue reading “Airlines Should Go After Hoaxers, Not Jokesters”
What do you do when you hand over all your money before a promised Doomsday, but Doomsday never comes? You go find the next best thing: a lawyer. That is the situation in Australia where a court has frozen the assets of Pastor Rocco Leo and his associates at Agape Ministries after followers demanded their money back. While there appears to have been no written contract, this appears a novel inverse of a force majeure claim: the act of God never came.
Continue reading “Followers Sue Church After Doomsday Fails To Come”
Picture this scene out of Midnight Express, police surrounding a nervous man late at night on an airport tarmac. Pulling away his shirt, they find taped to his body . . . steaks. A beef mule. That could be the scene in Karnataka, India where the government is about to make the possession of beef a criminal offense. Presumably, possession of beef with intent to distribute will receive a higher sentence.
Continue reading “Do The Prime, Do The Time: India Legislators Move To Criminalize Beef Possession”