The search is over. The end of a rainbow has been conclusively found, but there was a conspicuous absence of a pot of gold. It seems an unlikely coincidence that this missing pot is revealed on the day that Congress approves the roughly $800 billion stimulus package. Fortunately, thousands of lobbyists followed the rainbow and found almost $200 billion in highway funds at the end.
Continue reading “END OF RAINBOW FOUND: POT OF GOLD MISSING”
It appears that the cause of the Depression has been finally determined with certainty. The fault for the Depression, according to Rep. Steve Austria (R-OH), was Franklin Delano Roosevelt. This time traveling moment was all the more impressive since the Depression began in 1929 and Roosevelt took office in 1933.
Continue reading “Austrian History: FDR Caused The Great Depression”
In Queens, New York, a pedestrian was struck by a van and dragged 19.8 miles without the driver realizing that he had a body beneath his vehicle. The van was the second vehicle to hit the man and what is most remarkable is that it does not appear that either the first car or second car were hit-and-run drivers.
Continue reading “No Charges in Case of Man Dragged 19.8 Miles Under Van”
Turley bloggers we have arrived. Stephen Colbert last night embraced my testimony against the D.C. voting rights bill with the type of clinging and infectious hug not seen since the Sadie Hawkins dances at the French Leper Colony.
Continue reading “With Friends Like This . . . : Stephen Colbert Endorses Turley Testimony”
Peanut Corporation of America owner Stewart Parnell has invoked his privilege against self-incrimination to refuse testimony before Congress. It was the smart move. Parnell is in the same position as Roger Clemens and other baseball players accused in the steroid scandal. The most likely charge that they faced was not from the original allegations but their testimony before Congress, the grand jury, or statements to investigators.
Continue reading “No Nut: Peanut Company President Parnell Takes the Fifth Before Congress”
Pittsfield Township likes its lawns uniform and is willing to use criminal law to enforce its lawnacratic rule. Stanislav Voskov thought that he was doing a good thing by growing an environmentally friendly lawn by allowing various natural plants to grow without mowing. Pittsfield spotted some weeds of over ten inches and brought down the law on the lawn. Now, Judge Cedric Simpson has rule that Voskov must join the Stepford-like community in his lawn appearance.
Continue reading “Lawnocrats: Michigan Man Loses Case to Grow Environmentally Friendly Lawn”
Indian newspapers are reporting that an Indian company is about to introduce a rival to Coca Cola: Cow Urine soda. This ultimate un-cola (or ungulate cola) is made with a base of gau ark (cow urine) though they prefer to call it gau jal (cow water). My doubts about the authenticity of this story have been dispelled by the widespread report in India, where there are long-held views of the health benefits of cow waste, including tooth paste and face powder. I personally like the cow dung after shave to give me that cudly feel in the morning.
Continue reading “The Real Thing: Indian Company Introduces Cow Urine Soft Drink”
Jeremy Lusk, an American freestyle motocross racer, died of head injuries this week after failing to complete the rotation in a “Hart Attack backflip.” The move caused severe brain damage and possible spinal cord injury. The accident follows complaints over the danger of such activities, particularly for kids trying to mimic their heroes. The video below raises serious questions about the safety of this sport.
Continue reading “American Freestyle Motocross Champion Jeremy Lusk Dies After Trying a Backflip”
With unprecedented inflation making its currency worthless and rampant starvation and cholera, most people would have a hard time celebrating, but not the family and friends of President Mugabe, who have drawn up the list of items needed to celebrate his 85th birthday. The list (below) includes 2,000 bottles of champagne (Moët & Chandon or ’61 Bollinger preferred); 8,000 lobsters; 100kg of prawns; 4,000 portions of caviar; 8,000 boxes of Ferrero Rocher chocolates; 3,000 ducks; and other essentials. One thing barred is “No mealie meal” — the corn product that is sustaining millions of people in the country.
I just saw this picture and thought you should be warned about mother ducks using their ducklings as decoys.
Continue reading “TRAVEL ALERT: Duck Scam Artists Fleecing Tourists”
In Ipswich, Australia, a 16-year-old boy who was told by police to lay down in the street or be tasered by police. The boy complied and was then run over and killed by a car. It is a compelling case of negligence, even if the boy was acting “aggressive.”
As Congress struggles to understand the shocking report of a massive increase in suicides in the Army, they might want to study the case of Army Pvt. Adam Lieberman to see how some officers treat soldiers in mental distress. Lieberman was experiencing severe mental problems after a year in Iraq qith the Ist Battalion, 67 Armored Regiment — known as “the Death Dealers.” When he tried to kill himself, he wrote his suicide note on the wall in his room. The Army reportedly responded to the suicide attempt by charging him criminally and cut a deal with this mom. If she re-painted the wall, his charges would not include defacing of government property. After she painted the wall with the help of her handicapped sister, they charged him anyway with the crime.
Further entries on Sunday will be delayed due to my deployment on the Cutter U.S.S. Taney (USCGC Taney (WPG/WHEC-37)).
My two eldest sons and I are scheduled to sleep over on the Taney on Saturday night. Men going off to sea on a warship is nothing new, but not since the Fighting Sullivan brothers has one family decided to serve in the same ship.
For those who believe that the stimulus legislation is a thinly veiled effort by both Democrats and Republicans to enrich friends and engorge budgets, they need only read the Congressional Oversight Panel report to confirm their suspicions. The panel has reported to the Senate Banking Committee this week that Treasury in 2008 paid $254 billion for assets worth only $176 billion. That is $78 billions that simply evaporated into the pockets of well-connected, well-heeled executives.
Continue reading “Panel Discloses $78 Billion Over-Payment by Government Under TARP”
Lawyers are often asked to litigate over cars, cats, and every form of chattel. However, the attorney representing Daniel Bennett is seeking damages over his client’s loss of an invaluable bag of giant lizard dung. Bennett spent years collecting the dropping of the rare Butaan lizard, only to have Leeds University throw the bag of poop in the trash. The University has offered £500 for the 35kg bag. Bennett insists that that is an insulting offer for the loss of my “bag of lizard shit”.
Continue reading “Dung Damages: English Researcher Seeks Damages for Loss Lizard Dropping”